Amidst the confusion that life had shored her way, and feeling that she had to start all over again, Eve replayed “Your heart is smiling, you are warm on the inside, there is a new longing and yearning, feels right, you found it! Pursue happiness. To deny the innate desire to want and be wanted is to deny existence”.
Yes, I know this introduction is very confusing; it is part of a Skype chat with a certain Eve. Don’t you just appreciate technology?
She is venting and strategizing because the guy she had started having kids with (in her head that is) has unceremoniously, surprisingly, insensitively pulled the plug. She did not think that this particular Adam was wired that way. But remember that ‘Everything is prewired phylogenenically’; meaning that – and this is profound – species of the same group have the same predetermined coding and therefore evolve the same way. It is the same pedigree:)
A long time friendship between this Eve and the Adam in question had turned steamy. They had reconnected after almost half a decade of non-communication punctuated by occasional phone calls. Their friendship dates back to high school but now, the scenario is different – both are leading fulfilling lives, setting the stage for a pull in the ‘settling’ direction. [The number of relationships that start first by mentioning ‘settling’ never really settle, just an observation :)]
Amid flirtatious chats, Adam tells Eve that he had always fancied her; she believes him because they had a ‘semi-platonic’ relationship and none of them thought it would lead to a deep relationship hence there was never any pressure to impress the other. Now continents away, texting and occasional trans-Atlantic phone calls is their mode of communication. They seem to be reading from the same book and both tend to bank everything on the fact that they are/were friends who genuinely like(d)each other. He seemed very keen on her and on many occasions, called her ‘a gem worth having’.
Whether jokingly or not, Adam had talked some very deep stuff (as deep as kids, how deeper can it get?). Then something happened and the guy went quiet, he was no longer the hunter. He stopped texting and when he did, the texts bordered on civil, (I do not want to call them meaningless); the kind of text he would send to just about anybody. Something like ‘Hey, how are you?; I am well and work was slow today; Good night’ – the type that leaves you thinking ‘and this is related to what exactly’?
On her part, she was not texting him a lot either, and the reason for lull in communication on her end was that she realized they were making plans and promises yet they hadn’t seen each other for ages. She wanted to meet him first before laying serious ‘ground work’. But she realized that actually, both sides had cooled off so she inquired from him via text – ‘Why are you so quiet on me lately’? And boom came the bomb!
The same guy who had talked about them settling down together gave an answer which would throw even the new breed of Eve into disarray.
Adam: ‘I am just getting confused by a pal of mine here, as we get to know each other slowly’
Eve: “OK, good to know and I wish you well on that front”
Evidently, Adam had abandoned ‘their book’ quarter way and bolted.Someone else had, in the twinkle of an eye, caught his fancy. (You are strongly advised to smile because you cannot frown – we don’t have enough Botox in the world these days:)) and the fact that he was open about it was no mean feat.
Eve is taken aback and the temptation was to ask him why he had changed his mind about them, but she felt she did not have the energy to dig into ‘the why’. People have rights.
Adam: ‘are you mad at me? Are you dismissing me?”
Even this Adam must have wondered which breed of Eve this was. Didn’t she want to seek for answers?
On this Skype chat, Eve was wondering how she should handle the whole ‘situation’ in order to avert an imminent emotional blow-up. On second thought she decided to hold up her own. Rules of engagement allow her to be upset BUT not wiping dignity from the face of the earth. And well, Adam had spoken, so it was time for Eve to respond.
Eve: “I am not mad at you. You found it, makes you warm on the inside, makes your heart smile, ignites a new longing and yearning, challenges your intellect, feels right, found it! Pursue happiness. To deny the innate desire to want and be wanted is to deny existence”
Eve does not know if his new catch is ‘all that’, and her response is vague enough to almost mean nothing. However she felt that she needed to send a message that she would not in anyway be reminding him that they ‘complete each other’s sentences’ and therefore should be together. To lighten the chat, I told her in conclusion that “one good male for every good female” is a mirage; if that were the case, we would all rattle our way to our ‘ribs’ (in this case, our mates) like Ezekiel with the valley of dry bones (for those who have a Biblical inclination).
But i could not help but conclude that to think that one would control the way someone else thinks, acts and believes is to live in utopia.All the same, Life is beautiful; chances (for new jobs, new relationships, new alliances, etc) are NOT in short supply.