Public Display of Disaffection

Public display of affection is usually a turn off for most people and a turn-on for a few (including some who pretend to be turned off). On the other hand, public display of ‘disaffection’ is usually crowd drawing and you’d be surprised how much time people can spend idling around to watch and offer their deep insights into literally unfolding drama before them.

A friend and I were walking down the street one evening when we suddenly saw a curious crowd gathering around a couple pushing against the window of a shop. We, the curious cats, homed in on the crowd to try and get a better view. Picture this, Eve in a suit and high heels, gripping Adam with her hands around his waist. Adam, on the other hand, is holding a phone and looking at her dismissively and warning her to let go of him. Eve is shrilling back “give me my phone I need to go home!” She then informs a rather indifferent Adam that she had sprained her ankle (it seems we had missed a whole lot of the 1st episode) and demanded for her phone. Adam walks off; Eve transforms into Marion Jones, catches up with Adam, grabs at his jacket and continues to demand her phone. Adam does not relent, warns her that she hadn’t seen any drama yet, keeps walking but she runs after him again, and they both disappeared from the view of curious onlookers.

Know-it-all spectators weighed in and concluded that that phone contained some very incriminating evidence and that is why Adam has confiscated the phone. Judging from the look on her face, the curious onlookers decided that she was acting in a very guilty manner. She was condemned, and it was all about the phone and the way she seemed like she could give/do anything at that point to have it back. But how do you battle with adrenaline-charged biceps and an Adam determined to show that he cannot be scorned?
One would wonder what drives couples to a point of thrashing out the woes of their relationships in public. For those who may have been subjected to this kind of display, maybe the conclusion is that there is no logical explanation to it other than one thing led to another, tempers reached boiling point and before long, it quickly translated into a full-fledged low-budget short movie with no director or producer.

Maybe you’ve been out with couples who take jibes at each other and you’re left wondering why they opt to air their not so spotless laundry in public. It is the friends and those around that end up feeling the discomfort whilst the spouses are busy keeping their mental scoreboards on whose jibes were sharpest and who won that round, completely oblivious of how ridiculous they look. But it is probably worth mentioning that public fighting is a cheat. Women often get the upper hand in the argument because the man cannot stand up for himself without looking abusive.

Social networking sites have become the new hanging lines for relationships’ dirty laundry. For some people, it is perfectly alright to update their status on every activity that is happening in their relationship. All can appear to be smooth sailing when the leap is made from being single to being in a relationship but then when this transforms to ‘it’s complicated’ or reverts to being single, things can turn ugly much too publicly. Needless to say, another low budget movie could just start on someone’s wall. For some onlookers, it might seem funny but more often than not, the question that runs through many people’s heads is “why (or how) does it have to get to this?”

If a relationship has backslid, no need to tweet and update; lick the wounds, mourn and then get back into ‘circulation’. If an argument is getting ugly in a public, it is a good idea to sort out your dirty laundry out of the public glare.

Even the clergy are in on it

So Eves and Adams be warned, public display of disaffection is a no-no, and you do not score anything for it. If anything, it can be very humiliating to both parties; unless you are both king and queen of drama and get a kick from some of these moments which can be overtly embarrassing.
By Joyce

12 thoughts on “Public Display of Disaffection

  1. Another fine post. We have all been there and seen the public drama that you mention. It is embarrassing to witness but It is one of those things where there is nowhere else to look. The onlookers may seem heartless – watching two grown people dragging and pulling at each other but if it looks like a ‘domestic’ nobody wants to intervene or break it up. People must learn to sort out their issues in private.

  2. I will say this is a real vexation for some of us. allow me to go on a tangent here. FB and ‘twira’…the whole ‘Twiring’……twitting business. Now,and the post addresses it but i just feel the need to just vent. Why oh why do people display all this in public. the fighting,i have not watched it,the whole Facebook wall thing,i am tired- not only of the useless updates but the way things play out when people head to ‘splits ville’ 🙂 good week!

    • You are allowed to be upset (see the tab that says ‘About Project 44)’ 🙂

  3. Good article, You have very well expressed my thoughts on this habit the young are getting on . Rushing to tell the whole world what is happenning to them. Like we care…

  4. I am tired of all the bickering that couples especially on Twitter do. I’ve had to unfollow a couple of peeps cuz they can’t keep shit together in private. I wish they knew that nobody freaking cares about them and their little dramas. They should just spare the rest of us.

    • Thanks for dropping by. It seems these sentiments are resonating with quite a few people.

  5. There’s PDA and there’s PDA. Some PDA is all about ring-fencing a secure relationship, yet others are but the indisciplined public display of lust. I don’t know in which category of PDA we would place the then Al Gores’ passionate kiss at the Democratic convention way back in the day when Al was running for the presidency coz they later patted ways. But, PDD must be the new low for dysfunctional relationship. If you are willing to go all tongs and hammers at each other then that should be the appropriate warning- the relationship isn’t worth it, for in my book before there is love, there must be respect. Tell me, who’s that who love you who don’t respect you? Who’s that who respect who doesn’t mind creating shameful scenes with you in public. PDD then can only mean one thing- the relationship is but a fiction!

    • Kidikibudi on project44! Thanks for dropping by!

      Ok Al gore- that kiss was replayed over and over again when Edward’s story with Hunter became front page news for weeks. i think i would call it PDV ( public display for votes:))As in it became the point of reference about insincere PDA.

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