In medicine, one of the things that medics look out for when managing a patient are Vital signs. Just like in medicine, a relationship has ‘vital signs’. In other words, signs to look out for in order to know that the relationship is alive or is in the ‘ICU’ or it died and therefore need to remove ‘life support’ :(. So how is Eve supposed to know that an Adam is into her? This is one question is that is asked over and over again and often times, Eves come up with all sort of reasons why he isn’t calling or why she don’t hear from him anymore. Adams speak volumes by their actions or inaction; they are not good at laying it out in words (that’s why I LOVE YOU is three words short!).
So Eves, there is nothing new really, just an attempt to put down some signs that may help demystify that area. Of course all signs depend on how long the relationship has been going on because if it you met last week and you have a list of demands and endless questions,then you are the one who needs a reality check ;). Sometimes it can be hard to read the signs, so even these signs must be taken with a big dose of wisdom :).
Vital sign no. 1 is communication. If a guy calls you regularly and randomly, he is into you – This means that you have taken up a large part of his grey matter 😀 (PS. a guy who calls you hourly is likely to be a stalker or lunatic). If he doesn’t call you when he says he will or at all, and you probably think that the reason why he is not calling or texting is that he dislocated his finger; his 10 fingers are still intact but chances are he’s not that into you. If it turns out that you are the one who is keeping communication going in the relationship or initiating chat all the time, there is cause for alarm. For example, if at times he is still online but tells you that he is busy, busy? And still online? Does he work for yahoo? The line ‘I lost my phone and therefore could not remember your phone number’ has outlived its shelf life; does he have a good reason why he cannot recite your phone number backwards :)?
Vital sign no. 2: If he wants to spend time with you and makes time for you, it’s a sign that he is into you and he enjoys your company. Everyone will agree that spending time together is vital in any relationship- it is the only way to ensure that you continue to know each other and do not become strangers. In this fast paced life sometimes it can be hard to get time to spend together .So people have to get creative. Making time includes for example; driving you home, braving the traffic jams just to have some time with you. Big smile on your face if he takes time out of his favourite pastime to be with you. So you now know that if he told you he is busy almost every weekend-weekend! because he is discussing business deals with his boys, unless they are discussing how to export souls, there is no discussion happening!
Vital sign no. 3: A man who is into you and who is ready to commit will introduce you to his ring of friends and more specifically,’ the boys’ (hoping you are not dating a lone ranger); he will not only be telling them that the ‘territory’ is marked, not much unlike how territorial animals pass the word around the herds and prides but it shows that he is interested and is looking for the opinion of people who matter to him. The boys will know to respect you as the ‘queen’. If he introduces you as a friend, or simply as ‘Wangeci’ then that is just who you are to him. This of course depends on how long you have known each other.
Vital sign no. 4: Is physical and the way he treats you. No, fondling your assets in public is not what we are talking about here, think more intimate stuff such as looking into your eyes and holding that gaze (eye contact, not staring at the ‘twins’); holding your hand in public etc. All the ‘nots’ on physical vital signs indicate that the man probably just wants to have a taste of ‘your cookie jar’. As one blogger told us here the other day, “there is PDA and there is PDA”. The way he treats is all about making you feel wanted and appreciated. People communicate love differently, so it is hard to give examples here but this includes valuing your opinion, respecting your feeling and being considerate.
Vital sign no. 5: If you have been seeing a guy for a couple of months now, you are of age, are stable in your jobs, and all you do is go on coffee dates, think again if you want to drink coffee for another 2 years. Either he sees the angel in you and can’t wait to make you his (depending on if you are the tie the knot type and if this is what you are looking for in a relationship or dating), or he has not seen it in you and he is still searching. Any aloofness, unexplained silence, unanswered questions or other forms of ‘incoherence’ are signs that do not need to be elaborated on.
Vital sign no. 6: is family. No, not of the pair you (yeah you are probably feeling ‘broody’), but his family. If you are in the same country and he talks about his mum and family as if they are in Guantanamo bay and therefore you cannot meet them, then it is time to send yourself packing before he does. Yes, you meet the boys before you meet family.
Vital sign no. 7: Mention of ‘us’ and ‘we’ this is only manifested by an Adam who knows for sure he has found the Eve he has been looking for. He will ask you what your future plans are with the hope of trying to synchronise his plans with yours and refers to the pair of you as ‘us’/‘we’. When the guy talks like this, you need to find a gown !
To Adams, any other signs out there Eves can look out for? 🙂