Knight in Custom Armour

He looked so pitiful and tormented as he stared at the window. It was a look of discomfiture, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him, but again, I couldn’t understand it.

“Let me get this straight,” I interrupted the silence, “You made a two-thousand kilometer return journey by bus, across the border, spent a full weekend with your love interest, and you couldn’t gather the courage to tell her how you feel about her or make her see how she fits in your grand scheme of things?”

“Yes,” he replied meekly. I was wondering if the fact that he had gone all the way was not enough to make this Eve realize that he was keen on her. But according to my buddy, he seemed to be convinced that she was not fully aware of what he feels for her and he was hoping that he would set the record straight during the visit ;letting her hear him say that he want to be king :).

OK, here is the thing. My buddy belongs to that category of guys who are challenged when it comes to getting lyrical with Eve. This 30-year old shy friend is constantly put in the same spotlight as the lyrical assassins. He’s heard it all before; ‘you’ve got to man up, women want a confident man, who will go up to them and say what he wants’.

In relationships, it’s a game of survival for the fittest. Anyone who stands out from the crowd is more likely to get the choicest of girls to pick from. Part of standing out in the crowd is not only looks based, it goes hand in hand with confidence and eloquence. Anyone who is shy and timid will most likely be the last in the dating race. It does not matter how much a decent human being he is. But should it be? I ask because sometimes a guy cannot help but feel like he is a sheep in a slaughter house. We live in a world of differences, no matter the similarities. That’s what makes this place interesting. I think that often times in relationships, instead of noting the differences in people; we use the similarity principle in dating. And this is what I have an issue with.

Just like in the corporate world, the interviewee who wows the most with articulate communication and impressive words often times ends up getting hired but we all know that this does not necessarily translate into being up for the job.

In the dating game, a man is supposed to pursue and state his intentions. He spots the ‘prey’, makes a move and goes for the ‘jugular’. He’ll shower the chic with all kinds of lyrics, compliments and anything that is more speech than action oriented; anything to woo his ‘prey’. But what happened to actions speaking louder than words? This man travelled to see his love interest and now feels as if he lost his chance to ‘close the deal’ because he was just not able to state his claim face to face or use those sweet words that ladies want to hear. And, sadly, that’s what he’s been rated on.

And yet, the most noble of characters, that a lady is looking for, is under immense pressure because he’s not been able to wow a chic with his talk, he’s slowly becoming a laughing stock. Because of his feelings for the lady, he’ll think that in the dating game, the rule is also ‘fake it till you make it’. So one cannot be real, cannot be himself, because if he is, he won’t get the Eve that he wants. But the danger with faking it for this Adam is that he might get lyrical in order to get Eve’s attention and afterwards, when Eve notices that he is not that good in terms of expressing himself in words, she might bolt!

I could be wrong but I think that when Eves make their wish list about the type of Adam that they want, it is full of character traits that one is looking for looking for, not the kind of approach and entrance he makes. That’s for Hollywood and soap operas. You have a sixth sense, for intuition. Use it to know that the shy man who is doing everything but tell you, could be the best man for you.

Don’t let someone go because he didn’t say those sweet things that you wanted to hear, but in their actions, they show you how they feel about you. All knights coming in their own type of custom armour; it may not be shining, but that doesn’t mean it’s not good enough. The best may not be the loudest is all I am saying

By Brian – Guest writer


15 thoughts on “Knight in Custom Armour

  1. Good read Brian but i have to ask, the issue here is that Adam cannot look at Eve and tell her that he wants her? Come on! When PLO ( sorry to bring siasa here) got lyrical with us,we thought that the words would wipe out the vice that he was supposed to dealing with even without the law coming into play- lakini we all know what happened. Did you see the Nigerian pastor was back in town? Now is there an Eve out there,who is gauging a potential Adam based on how lyrical he is………Then the Nigerian pastor has huge business here in Town….

  2. Mmmmhhhhhh. Well well. Going lyrical could have worked 20 years ago when a person’s character was more important than money…And I think what you see is not what you get…Take for example PLO…All talk and no action led to his downfall.

    • This guy does not need a letter! Jamo just said this would be relevant when a person character was more important than money……………i am sorry to say that i agree! I think that Brian forgot to say that if hakuna lyrics and there is no money,this guy is way out of the league. OK,let me not spell doom,this guy and any other guy knows/ should know that he has to flaunt something-anything

  3. I truly agree that actions mean a whole deal more than words (especially when already in a relationship), BUT let me play devil’s advocate just a tad bit here. If the “shy guy” is not already “fair maiden’s” good friend therefore she does not know of him or his pristine character, how does “shy guy” get her to notice him? Words must come into play – maybe the option is for “shy guy” to get a few basic lessons on word-play and then let the actions speak after – let’s say the first date.

  4. Clearly, I need to pass on these pointers to my Shy friend, otherwise, he’ll find himself in a cold Siberia, all alone. @Mimi, he’s got to flaunt something, anything? Nice one. Money cometh before character? Haha, okay. Pass it on.

  5. I feel for this “shy guy”, he could be of good character and good deeds, but he’s got to try to say something interesting to make these Eve interested, it doesn’t need to be lyrical, intelligent Eve can read between the lines. He could try to take things slow, make friendship with this Eve, in the course of this friendship. Eve will learn his character and maybe fall for him…if all doesn’t work, send him my way n save a gal from going to Nigerian pastor on sato…

    • Ok Brian,i think this is sorted out. Project44 did not think it would link people up but now here is Eve saying enough with Naija pastor lol ! love this post.

    • Maria, Maria. Now this is more like it. Good character and deeds. Let me check with Mr.Shy Guy, if things are not working out, I’ll revert. Lol. No more Nigerian pastor when the country is overflowing with single men.

  6. “spent a full weekend with your love interest”.

    I may be dump when it comes to women and relationships but what lady is willing to spend a full weekend alone with a man and not have some form of feelings for the old chap? He is not her brother or relative, and yet lets him into her world for a whole weekend.

    My humble submission is that the lady is simply taking the old chaps lead and accommodating him as her lover in the language he is speaking to her, by not telling him directly as he, himself has not, but is.

    My advice to the chap, call her and invite her over for a full weekend and see how it goes from there.

    “Spent a full weekend with your love interest” Please.

    • 😀 ‘not his brother or relative’
      Ok @ Mahegoat,i see you are offering Brians’ buddy practical advice……to invite her over but i wonder if he will summon the courage !

      • Summon the courage?

        Let me get this straight. He is willing to pour his heart out to his “Buddy” but not to githeremende kia ngoro yake. What kind of “shy” is that?

        He has the bravado to cross many rivers, climb many mountains, travel over many kliks and to spend a whole weekend with her. That is shouting volumes in my opinion.

        Asking her over for a whole weekend will not require the bravado of a lion.

  7. We are used to quality here at the Project and this one is a sensitive topic. You say- actions speak louder than words It is also said that faint heart never won fair lady but surely this is a 2 way street and there is no way Eve could have misunderstood Adam’s intentions. She is playing hard to get so now young Adam needs to activate plan B. Spoil her, treat her like a queen and she will be yours.

    Sometimes, I too have the sheep-in-the-slaughter-house experience.
    Stay well.

    • Hey Woolie good to have you here as always.Great that you give this guy advice on how to win this Eve over! and we are waiting to read about your sheep-in-the slaughter house experience:)

  8. I see the ‘whole weekend’ has sparked a couple of readers off, and I have to say that the love interest is a patient one…..I would agree with Mimi that Shy Adam has to flaunt something, anything 😉 cos the truth is that unless the love interest is one who likes the shy types and can take the bull by the horns, this episode could have another rerun. It doesnt mean that Adam has to fake it but there is some practical advice up here.

    I know a couple of guys who are shy so this is a good take Brian 🙂

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