He looked so pitiful and tormented as he stared at the window. It was a look of discomfiture, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him, but again, I couldn’t understand it.
“Let me get this straight,” I interrupted the silence, “You made a two-thousand kilometer return journey by bus, across the border, spent a full weekend with your love interest, and you couldn’t gather the courage to tell her how you feel about her or make her see how she fits in your grand scheme of things?”
“Yes,” he replied meekly. I was wondering if the fact that he had gone all the way was not enough to make this Eve realize that he was keen on her. But according to my buddy, he seemed to be convinced that she was not fully aware of what he feels for her and he was hoping that he would set the record straight during the visit ;letting her hear him say that he want to be king :).
OK, here is the thing. My buddy belongs to that category of guys who are challenged when it comes to getting lyrical with Eve. This 30-year old shy friend is constantly put in the same spotlight as the lyrical assassins. He’s heard it all before; ‘you’ve got to man up, women want a confident man, who will go up to them and say what he wants’.
In relationships, it’s a game of survival for the fittest. Anyone who stands out from the crowd is more likely to get the choicest of girls to pick from. Part of standing out in the crowd is not only looks based, it goes hand in hand with confidence and eloquence. Anyone who is shy and timid will most likely be the last in the dating race. It does not matter how much a decent human being he is. But should it be? I ask because sometimes a guy cannot help but feel like he is a sheep in a slaughter house. We live in a world of differences, no matter the similarities. That’s what makes this place interesting. I think that often times in relationships, instead of noting the differences in people; we use the similarity principle in dating. And this is what I have an issue with.
Just like in the corporate world, the interviewee who wows the most with articulate communication and impressive words often times ends up getting hired but we all know that this does not necessarily translate into being up for the job.
In the dating game, a man is supposed to pursue and state his intentions. He spots the ‘prey’, makes a move and goes for the ‘jugular’. He’ll shower the chic with all kinds of lyrics, compliments and anything that is more speech than action oriented; anything to woo his ‘prey’. But what happened to actions speaking louder than words? This man travelled to see his love interest and now feels as if he lost his chance to ‘close the deal’ because he was just not able to state his claim face to face or use those sweet words that ladies want to hear. And, sadly, that’s what he’s been rated on.
And yet, the most noble of characters, that a lady is looking for, is under immense pressure because he’s not been able to wow a chic with his talk, he’s slowly becoming a laughing stock. Because of his feelings for the lady, he’ll think that in the dating game, the rule is also ‘fake it till you make it’. So one cannot be real, cannot be himself, because if he is, he won’t get the Eve that he wants. But the danger with faking it for this Adam is that he might get lyrical in order to get Eve’s attention and afterwards, when Eve notices that he is not that good in terms of expressing himself in words, she might bolt!
I could be wrong but I think that when Eves make their wish list about the type of Adam that they want, it is full of character traits that one is looking for looking for, not the kind of approach and entrance he makes. That’s for Hollywood and soap operas. You have a sixth sense, for intuition. Use it to know that the shy man who is doing everything but tell you, could be the best man for you.
Don’t let someone go because he didn’t say those sweet things that you wanted to hear, but in their actions, they show you how they feel about you. All knights coming in their own type of custom armour; it may not be shining, but that doesn’t mean it’s not good enough. The best may not be the loudest is all I am saying
By Brian – Guest writer