Most Eves have been socialized to date Adams who are at least age mates or older. Enter the younger Adam and the scene gets a tad complicated. Of the many reasons that have been put across for not dating a
younger Adam, the one that stands out is the old dictum that girls mature faster than boys, and therefore it follows that in a relationship, Adam should be older. It remains a grey area whether this refers to physical, mental maturity or to both – I hope this does not open a can of worms.
Based on the above, a number of Eves have been reinforced to believe that it is better to date an older Adam in order to cover for a perceived lag in maturity in men. Conversations revolving around dating younger Adam are often punctuated by declarations that dating a younger man is tantamount to courting disaster and these relationships are usually temporal and often done out of desperation to bag an Adam – do not joke with the social order, societal judgment can be harsh.
So it is not uncommon to see an Eve dating a younger Adam and guarding the news as though it were a nuclear code not to be let out. Something that is supposed to be all exciting or worth a toast even, ends up being something that Eve is either ashamed of or has to defend at every turn. Picture the following conversation between two Eves during a catch-up session.
Eve 1: “I am dating”, she informs her best friend.
Eve2: “Oh, great! I was not aware you were dating; I thought that the ‘Ukame’ (drought and it
does not mean rain) 🙂 is everywhere but it does not seem to be the case. I assume he must be a hunk, otherwise you would not have dated him; in that case I will not ask you to describe him so let’s go to the main points. So, what does he do?”
Eve1: “He is an aeronautical engineer, astronautics branch” she says proudly.
Eve2 frowns because she is not exactly sure what that means but based on the complex space-age terminologies, she can decipher that this is no small career so Eve 1 scores points for it. This is followed by questions in quick succession about where he lives and what machine he pushes etc, and then finally falling on the contentious issue:
Eve2”How old is he?”
Eve1 does not want to talk about the age difference and therefore she hesitates, before saying that the astronaut is one year younger. Her friend gives her a look which makes her realize that she needs to mount up a defense about how this Adam is mature and responsible beyond his years and that when they are paired, one can hardly tell that he is younger.
Eve2: “You mean this guy came into this planet after you and you are actually deluded that he is dating material for you?” This is then followed by a whole lecture about how, whilst this Adam may have the energy of a stallion :), men mature late, that he will eventually find a younger Eve and that she thinks it is ill-advised to date this guy. All this is based on a one year age difference, she has not met him, does not know what he stands for , neither is she sensitive to what her best friend feels about this judgment.
Mixed feelings well up inside Eve1 and although she might not break up with him, a new task has been handed to her – she will now be looking out for all signs that he still needs to ‘ripen’ or that he is eyeing younger women. Even a little unproven hint could make Eve1 decide that after all, she was not ‘oozing’ feelings for this Adam and calls it quits. (Yeah! It is called peer pressure and it can send even the most stable relationships downhill).
So you have to seat back and think that this world is hard to comprehend. At some point, we have a hall packed with Eves, all with arms outstretched waiting for a pastor to breathe life into their dead dating lives. Then the same women will dismiss a dude based on the fact that he is one year younger than her, among other basis for summary dismissals:). Mind you the man is not complaining, he is aware of that fact and it is not a deterrent for him. Why then for the life of me should it be deterrent to Eve?
There are Adams out there (yeah somewhere on this planet) who act way above their age; they are responsible, can hold up their own and know exactly what they want. In the same breath, there are older Adams who act way below their chronological age.
Is it therefore fair, realistic or even strategic:)to place all guys in one group, label them ‘young’ and therefore immature and not deserving a chance? OK! – Someone might ask if there is an age limit or variance within which people should be consider dating mates. Well, that varies from person to person but my imagination tells me that everyone wants to be around someone who makes them look and feel great, not with someone who will make people think you just turned up to a party with little brother!
Have your say!