In a world where material success is over emphasized, social cracks abound. We continue to buy more and want more to dull the ‘ache’ or cover up our lack of satisfaction. It is akin to chasing the wind. While Adam and Eves have diverse goals that they pursue, there is an almost universal underlying pursuit: the goal to be happy. However, happiness has been difficult to define for a long time, because people have different view points of what happiness is.Therefore, this will not be an attempt to define it.
Stagnation point is when you reach a certain moment and begin to wonder if you will make it to the next step. Nobody wants to stagnate, we all want an upward curve in all spheres of our lives. This is only natural and human. However,we have been described as the ‘drive-through generation’ – we want everything instantly, most of us do not understand delayed gratification. We want an instant promotion, wealth, marriage etc.This preoccupation with the pursuit of material things in turn deals a big blow to us and our social environment. In time, there is a tendency to slow down to think about what makes us really happy. I have been there and I guess a lot more people are there but they will not admit it. Life becomes a constant worry; we move from one chore to the next, one project to another and as time goes by, happiness becomes an illusion.
In matters closer to Project 44, Adams and Eves strive for that ‘perfect’ relationship. Although we are the ‘drive-through generation’, we still want someone by our side because the inborn need for companionship cannot be denied nor overemphasized. However the problem with this is that after the pursuit of all those other things that we feel make us happy, often times, the inner well is left dry. So when you meet a worthy Eve or Adam, in time they begin to feel like a therapist- every date may feel like a therapy session about how this and that is not going the way you thought, never stopping to think what the real needs of your significant other are. With time, they start dealing with you the way a bomb squad deals with explosives.
This is where I am convinced that a beat is missing. I think that one goal that should be passionately championed is the goal to achieve inner happiness and in turn, it will lead to a fulfilled relationship with oneself; which will then be reflected in the relationship that we forge.This cuts deep; it is beyond putting on a smiley face and looking at the bright side of life. I think I would be correct to say that one of the reasons why relationships are difficult (to navigate) is not only unmet expectations but it is also the fact that many people are not at peace from within. Personal happiness is easily consumed or over shadowed by all other pursuit; yet it is the one thing that should be retained even when stripped of all else.
There are some things that other people can help us achieve and there are other things that we must dig deep within and ‘decipher’ for ourselves. One such thing is knowing what contributes to personal happiness. For some people, it is taking care of their health, for others, it is maintaining strong family bonds, etc. As far as Eves and Adams go, off the top of my head, I think these are two areas that stand out the most when it comes to relationships:
Communication: Being genuine on opinion, when sharing could save a relationship, a family, heritage. Eves, try talking less to Adams if you want to hear them in good times and at war and by all means, keep it drama free. Please note they are short on vocabulary – it is not that you do not matter.
Conflict: Leave the fights clean and the sex dirty (for those catching some) because dealing with conflict is a large part of a long term relationship; air your differences more productively – it is a mark of maturity. Too often an argument turns into proving you’re right and as I have learnt, being right is overrated.
Happiness isn’t fame, recognition or revolutionary inventions; it is about the inner self reflecting on the outward.
Be happy and have your say!
By Guest Writer – Naomi