Blind Dates

Today’s life is filled with Eves and Adams on a quest, a quest to quench the thirst of companionship, love, contentment; call it what you may. Sometimes that quest is obvious, sometimes carried around demurely – whichever way it is veiled, Adams and Eves are programmed to look for that one person who forever will be by their side. (I know there are others who differ, but that’s a topic for another day or another blog ;)). There are a myriad of ways in which the quench may be pursued and frankly speaking, there isn’t a particular way that one is guaranteed a quench. A blind date is one of them and it can be a very interesting venture.

When many of us hear the phrase blind date, it usually elicits thoughts of excitement and adventure gone wrong. Blind dates are a bit like that Chinese dish – they can offer you a sweet and/or sour experience, a cliffhanger of sorts! Out there in the maze, there is always an avenue seeking to make a connection for Eve and Adam that lands people on a blind date. It could be through a friend or a colleague; maybe you have been drawn in by technology’s lure of taking away your loneliness or solitude and replacing it with a soul-mate – you know those services you ‘unwillingly’ subscribe to but now can’t get them to stop! It could be that you met someone online or you called into your local FM station and decided to give lady luck a chance.

Let’s imagine that a mutual friend plays cupid and numbers are exchanged. In most cases it is the hunter’s role to call the hunted…a faint heart never won a fair lady. First conversations can be awkward; even when you may have exchanged small details about each other prior to the first phone call. Of course, the voice can also be a selling point – Adam may be reeled in like a baited fish by the sweet mellow voice of the Eve whilst Eve may be wooed by that baritone at the end of line. As questions are asked and descriptions made, the two parties may start to paint images on their minds of how the other one looks like, triggered by how they sound on the phone – the danger here is that the imagery may go into overdrive and if any of the specifications are met, it is almost like a fat kid eyeing a piece of candy.

Conversation may deviate, but it is mostly focused on “knowing” the other person; there is a mental checklist being ticked off as the conversation goes on – sometimes with questions marks instead of ticks or crosses. Then comes the big question by Adam, “Would you like us to go out for coffee?” The answer from Eve is pegged a lot on the Adam’s “marketing strategy”. And presumably, this is a much more safe question than, “Could I take you out Friday night?” This is the wrong question and no man should go this route if he expects to take things to the next level. Her mind is wired to question his intentions – that Adam will be in and out…of the relationship, I mean!

Assuming that hurdle is crossed and Adam and Eve agree on the blind date, the next hurdle is looking right for the date. Now, a lot of effort is made to look presentable and ‘right’ – some people pull out there best outfits, some their sexiest, others don’t want to look like they tried hard and there are even those who look like they didn’t try at all ;).   A splash of the enchanting cologne/perfume and may be a bit of practice in front of the mirror. At this point, many Eves are tempted to inform a few, if not all, of her friends about the ‘impending’ date, and the buzz elicited from this piece of news contributes a lot to Safaricom’s over-the-top profit margin; tit bits of advice on how to dress, behave and so forth will be offered, solicited or unsolicited.

Before the date, Eve and Adam agree on a venue to meet. The day of the meet finally arrives and it is on this day that Eve and Adam will share details of how they will identify each other. Hopefully it will not be along the lines of ‘I will be the one wearing a big cowboy hat’ or ‘you won’t miss me in my lime green jumpsuit’. (PS It is not uncommon for Eve or Adam to give a different description of what they are wearing just in case they want to abort the mission on first sight!) Whoever arrives last has the “upper hand”, having the decision to run for the hills if the physical is not appealing (sadly so). We may deny it and sermonize about how beauty is on the inside, but truth be told, the outside leads to the beauty within (get your mind out of the gutter gentlemen!). If Eve is “eye-candy”, then Adam adjusts his collar, changes his gait and strolls to the “damsel in distress”…her patience has already been tested this far; if Eve arrives last and all is pleasing, she adjusts her bag, checks that nothing is stuck between her teeth, may be sprays a bit of perfume and walks with a delicate measured gait towards the Adam.

Despite the fact that they talked, conversation can be a bit awkward since is in essence a first – a first conversation face to face.  Also, Eve and Adam will still watch out for clues about each other – character examination and small mannerisms can mean a lot on the first date. Giveaways like smiles and laughter indicate a positivity to this meeting; on the other hand, too much interaction with one’s phones, fidgeting and uneasiness can point to the fact that whilst the beauty without was impressive, the connection is getting loose. Now, some people are very good in masking their feelings so it can be difficult to read them; others may be just be too excited about the other person that they may not even be conscious of them yawning ;).

If there are long moments of silence, then this is like a huge bell tolling with the sounds of doom. If the situation is getting uneasy, there is no end to the number of excuses that one may give in order to make an escape.

In all fairness, character examination done over coffee on the first date is unlikely to give the whole picture. There is bound to be some misjudgment and misreading.  A lot more dates will be needed and interaction with Eve or Adam in their circle will give away a lot about them. But we are still on the blind date, right? It is good to remember that both Eve and Adam are sitting across each other for the same reason – so it is important to give things a chance and see what the opportunity has to offer. If it turns out to be just another evening not spent in front of the TV, so be it. If it turns out to be an avenue to something meaningful, then you’ll be glad you tried.

Have your say!

By Victor – Guest Writer

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15 thoughts on “Blind Dates

  1. I think that blind dates are tricky;but i get the part where Eves and Adams need to beat the ‘Ukame galore’ which seems to once in while afflict the dating arena. How about maybe meeting in a large gathering where you do not have to go through all the drama of looking for an exit strategy in case what you saw on FB,or the voice that you heard on skype fails to live up to expectation in terms of the physical appearance?

  2. Ah! Victor nice post – when did you write this? You have described the blind – date perfectly from the build up to the anticipation to the butterflies and the eventual meeting. I have never been on an absolutely blind date but any first date seems to follow the same principles that you have described.

  3. with 0.000..% genuine cases, one has to be very cautious. Definately not something i would try especially coming from the internet 🙂

    i would rather the introduction through of a friend of a friend of my bro bla bla bla

  4. Great read. Having experienced my one and only blind date, I must confess I ran for the hills. I’ve never gotten around to trying another. I guess its true, with blind dates there could be a lot of misreading and misjudging. Subsequent dates are usually the eye openers, especially after the ice has been broken. Well, I never got to experience the subsequent…

  5. Oh, at least I am past the dating stage but as someone has mentioned, all first dates bring with them a certain anxiety, blind dates adds to the excitement by the fact that you don’t know how he/she looks like. It can be a pleasant surprise or a disappointment. Good post Victor

  6. This is a fascinating topic. Shows a lot about tolerance and having the nerve to do what it takes to be patient and give a relationship a chance.

    Saying that, I have the perfect formula to any blind date – the ones I’ve indulged in are spectacularly successful – @farmgal stop laughing, I’m very serious here…LOL!

  7. The reason why most blind dates don’t work out is because people show up with accelerated expectations that are just too high. You expect to waltz into the arms of your one true love and sail off into a fairytale happily-ever-after..all in that 1 meeting! The other tendency of course is for prospectives to create a larger than life persona in virtual space so that the actual meeting turns out to be an anticlimactic encounter..

  8. They can work, actually. My last blind date ended up being my boyfriend for 3 years 🙂

    Just go for the date expecting to have fun and meet someone new. If it works out, super. If not…one more story for your “OH NO HE DIDN’T!” collection 😀

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