Restoring Sanity 2012

He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; he who makes one is a fool.” – F.M. Knowles

Hey Eves and Adams! Hope you had exciting, relaxing and happy holidays. Even more importantly, here’s hoping that nobody will come round and yell “Trapped!” for 2011 is gone 😉 – we are in a new year which brings at the least the promise of new beginnings and a new dawn. The New Year is often marked with festivities and a frenzy of resolutions. Forget the above quote, Knowles probably knew that it was hard to fulfill all resolutions and hence coined the quote. It is OK to make resolutions, and while these resolutions may be about surviving on spinach and carrot juice (popularly known as a detox plan :), joining yoga, aerobics or anger management classes (all splendid aims), here at Project 44, we are thinking of some ideas (call them resolutions if you like) which could help bring sanity in the relationships/dating arena.

We know that not everyone is in ‘the maze’; some people are already in a relationship, so this could be a good time for sharing visions, plans and setting common goals for your relationship. The chances are that if the aims are shared, both of you will be working towards achieving and you are likely to try and see them through – call it shared pursuit.

A certain Eve made a resolution to ‘act her worth’. An Adam elsewhere made a resolution not to be used by women anymore. See, most resolutions are informed by prior experience. Often times, we go through some not very exciting experiences which make us feel like we will never get out of the dating maze. However, the positive thing about experiences is that we are meant to learn from them. So let us dust ourselves off, be happy that if the year past was not very good, at least it has gone away and has let us move on to new things. Here are a few of the ideas:

– You will ‘detox’ all the negative stuff that you have heard or gone through in relationships so that you can start to believe that it is possible to pursue happy fulfilling relationship based on healthy values. Failure to do so could mean that you might never step into a good relationship because your attitude and thinking will betray you. This should probably have happened late last year but it is never too late ;).

– You will leave unavailable men/women alone especially if you are looking for a long term relationship. The assumption here is that you know who you are and what you want, which then means that you will definitely know if the person is available and if your expectations are being met or likely to be met.

– You will pursue your happiness, joy and fulfillment – old as this advice may sound, unless you are dating the god or goddess of happiness, if you are unhappy as a single person, being paired will not be the instant remedy; the void will still be evident even when you get into a relationship. This can be enhanced by reading on relationships, listening to motivation speakers or getting involved in whatever will arm you not only with the right attitude, but also put you in the right frame of mind to interact and forge a wholesome relationship.

– You will consciously seek to be a better partner. This could mean that you have to put aside selfish ways, be a better listener, supportive, nurturing, etc. This might help in that your significant other will not feel as though s/he has been held hostage by someone with a list of demands to be met yet cannot meet half of those for him or her. Remember, the first step to getting a good partner is to be one yourself.

–  As much as you want to be in a relationship – since you might have a resolution that says ‘married by August 2012’ -, you will not ‘force’ a relationship to work; more diplomatically put, you will recognize a relationship that is on its death bed and take action. The number of people who will not accept it when a relationship is ‘dead’ is amazing but this is a story for another day.

– You will not sit by the phone waiting for a phone call or leave your diary open just in case your significant other decides to ask you out. Look for things that you are excited about and pursue your dreams and hobbies; make your own plans – if you both did not make earlier plans for the weekend or a significant day of the year, chances are one of you was not planning on hanging out with the other. Yeah!, we know Valentine’s Day is around the corner and this one might be hard to follow but try 😉 !

– Finally, you will tone down on expectations, yeah, we said it! There is a lot of mediocrity in this world; accepting that all your expectations will not be met while taking measures not to sink into mediocrity will save you a lot of airtime, emails and Facebook messages complaining about serious issues such as why your date did not keep time, did not call, did not keep this or that promise etc. It is not the best case scenario but you can’t have it all :).

Now add some more ideas which could make the year more exciting and fulfilling and possibly deliver what you are looking for in your current relationship or in the future one – if cupid takes an aim with his arrow, don’t be caught unawares ;). Given that some of these resolutions will be made just after the stroke of midnight with such conviction that it seems like a do or die situation, we must not be discouraged at the first sign of obstruction. Keep going for nothing comes easy!

Happy New Year! Wishing you fulfilling relationships and dating in 2012!

By Project 44

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31 thoughts on “Restoring Sanity 2012

  1. Woop! Woop! My favourite bloggers are Back! Good read to kick start the year. I can use every bit of info here.

    I will detox! I will not fafanua but I need to detox.
    My diary too shall not be left open in case.

    Wah! So glad you’re back you lot. Hugsies all around and may you have a wonderful 2012.

    Hope you feel the love …ok ok istop

  2. Oh boy,is it not the best thing to be nodding as we read along,every paragraph. For me it’s more about high expectation from our wonderful bloggers and the much needed relief on sharing widely and wisely… Much love yo way rock on.

    About resolution for those of us with few just don’t base them on brim acceptance or rejection,if the goal like P44 stated is based on growth nurturing yourself to a healing or maturity path,rock on.

  3. Hugs, hugs and more hugs all round. Thanks, to the good Lord a new year’s began. Looking forward to a sane year too.

  4. Happy New Year my favorite bloggers. A very awesome post to begin 2012 with. Looking forward to many more, and may True Love find it’s way in our hearts.

  5. There’s a lot of love floating around and I hope it stays throughout the year ;)! This is a great read and kickstart to the new year – I love that Calvin and Hobbs image about change, it just cracked me up!

  6. aaaaaaagh.

    The whole bloody neighborhood is back with all the clutter, noise, honking, brats et al.

    At least my regular mathogothanio buddy is also back so that area shall be the consolation.

    Welcome back Project44 crowd. Missed you all extra large. In you all I get a weekly glimpse into how “normal” people should behave in relationships. Me? I am not “normal” and I know it but that is a story for another day.

    My resolution?

    One, I will be honest with all those who keep their dairies open for me and sit by the telephone waiting for my call. Girlfriend, get a life. The MaheGoats of this world are not into relationships. Periods. Except Mathogothanio of course, no strings attached. Repeat No Strings Attached.

    One other thing folks, Happy New Year.

    • Happy new year to you too!
      Great to have you here as always.Keep the fire burning!

  7. Happy New Year Project44! Hope that 2012 is a good one for you. Awesome piece to start the year with for sure…. my hope and wish for all of us, Adams and Eves, is that we do not forget it all when we are in the trenches. Another thing that l feel is important, that we really do not respect, is the Truth. Speaking the truth, walking the truth, knowing the truth and being the truth. It is something that we hear a lot and it is possible that it has lost it’s meaning along the way……we take it for granted and even worse we are the reason why…… the Truth does set you free. Be the truth that you want to see in the world.

    • I am smiling at this because here at Project 44, we (the two Eves who run it) have been talking about truth lately. It is a kind of mantra for us in 2012! So yeah, let’s say we are in sync 😉
      Happy new year and hope it is a good one for you too!
      Cheers .

    • Hey @ Radio!Long time! Now which comment is this by one @ Mahegoat? he he he we are just just letting him be with his Mathogothanio lol

  8. Happy new year guys…thanking God for another great opportunity to read and know so welcome back P44 🙂

  9. Happy New Year Project 44…here is to a solid 2012 filled with contentment, hope, self-awareness and the joy of small mercies. Bless you all.

  10. I am finally out, i am finally out! I made this resolution too many times but i am finally out!

  11. You Guys! This one is a gem. I nodded in agreement *like young Naomi* as I read the advice but I spotted something that perhaps I can advice you on *given my long years in the field* (so to speak). ‘Tone down on expectations’ must not mean lowering your standards. I have seen many Adams and Eves fall by the wayside in later life because they thought…”jump into the next Mat. Any matatu is better than no matatu”

    Lovely New Year to you and all your readers.

    • Hey woolie,Nice to have you here as always. Thanks for the advice,coming from someone who has been in the field* he he he . Hope Eves and Adams take it and run with it !

      Lovely Year to you too!

  12. Happy New Year P44!

    Instead of making resolutions this year, I will put down some dreams and wishes. Put them in an envelope, pray over them and keep them for opening in December. I hate the pressure that comes with trying to keep resolutions because most of the time I fall short… (and I ain’t no fool) 🙂

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