A Glimpse into Adam’s Mind

Recently I had the opportunity to travel upcountry with a couple  of guys, they call themselves ‘the boys’, some who have left the maze and others who are still groping around looking for a worthy Eve. During this ride, I realized that it true that most people believe love relationships are every step exhausting; because of all the drama that goes on in dating and often times, even after tying the knot. When I thought about all they said, I thought why not share with Project44 fans on what some of these guys thought would heal the ailing relationships. So here goes the musings, it does not necessarily mean that I hold the same view (yeah, it is a disclaimer).

1. Communication: Amazing how people are always told that communication is key, yet they choose not to work on it. According to the boys, when arguments and misunderstandings occur, Eves expect Adams to plead guilty – even when they are not. Silence is the easiest solution for Adam; he decides to keep moving forward, without addressing the issue, which only complicates matters and further poisons the relationship. Little arguments become festering feuds; little pains become deep wounds, something that would have been dealt with without passing judgment or needing preconceived answers becomes a big issue threatening to tear two people apart. Adams were of the view that even though they agree that they have a role to play in keeping communication channels open, Eves would  help a lot if they took a step back especially on judging and being irrational about demands for answers even where no explanations are needed.

2. Sex: Eves withhold pleasure for their Adams, to drive them to fix a problem; all the while his twitching body parts will not stop to thump and while Eve doesn’t know what to do, Adam does. He says all the right things in the right tone of voice, perfectly on key, to create the moment and watches the out-of-control expression on Eve’s face. When the attempts fail severally, these negative feelings and outright rejection or manipulation can grow into progressively worse times. Adam is headed for trouble; he will then find solace somewhere else. Something akin to what Project 44 calls ‘wandering off the pasture’. Do not get surprised when his colleague or your house-help give him the much needed release. Eve’s next concern will be who is keeping him warm and his arms full. According to the boys, it has its roots back home. The very person that was meant to be his source of pleasure drove him to graze other pastures. Adams agree it is all shoddy, take some responsibility but quip that Eve’s cannot act all blameless.

3. His boys: Adam enjoys the boys’ company for a couple of reasons; they keep it real with each other, including their fall outs. They were before you were. Adam likes a breather, a period when he can be himself and enjoy moments of silence. Call it ‘Adam time’ if you wish. However, Eve will make use of his presence to fix things and ‘download’ about the kids, the neighbors, family and anything else that does not seem to make her happy. Adams want their Eves to understand that it has nothing to do with wavering feelings or lack of commitment; it is not that they do not want to spend time with their Eves, they just need to connect with their inner man at a different level. That is where the boys come in. Let them be.

4. Finances: Without a doubt, finances touch way too many raw nerves. Adam strives to bring home the bacon (hope we are all talking about the real Adam, not the new crop). He toils all day, does not convey all the issue surrounding his job, does not tell Eve how impossible things can get at times, he hangs in there and keeps his stuff together. All this, they say is no big deal; they know that they have to do what they have to do to keep it together. However, Eve uses his income to compete with her sisters, neighbors and friends which creates fear and doubt as to whether if the end of life comes, Eve would take care of Adam’s children. For that reason, it’s not uncommon for Adam to have his mother as his next of kin.

When it comes to chipping in on projects, they said that Eve remembers stuff even if it’s confusing like the last 30 seconds of a fireworks display. If she tops up money to register the car that Adam bought, she will wield it like a weapon of destruction. On the other hand, Adam does not remember or repeat how much it cost him to support Eve or her family. While Adam doesn’t keep count on the struggles of bringing home the bacon, Eve gives accountability of her role in raising Adams’ kids to engineer the guilt trip, for that reason sometimes Adam will withhold showing his undying passion for their children and when they are used as bait in a court of law, Adam gives up the struggle for the traditional custody, even though not a minute ticks without the thought of their pretty faces on Adam’s mind. They said that Eve believes Adam cannot be half the parent that she is.

5. In-laws: These are a wonderful lot. There are gory stories about his family and her family. Adam wisely chooses not to take sides when Eve expects him to, especially when his mother is concerned.His reasons are simple: Eve has yet to learn unconditional love, she is always threatening to pack up and jet out after every fight, yet Adam’s mum, has been by his side, keeps no accounts of his shortcomings and wrongs and has never threatened to decamp. With that in perspective, Eve can throw tantrums, Adam will not get anywhere near that web.

6. Beauty and seduction: Adam’s expectation on beauty and seduction never dies because he is a visual being. They repeated the old one; be his lady in public, a chef in the kitchen and whore between his sheets. That made-up lie they peddle that “you look beautiful natural” stems from his fear of having his Eve looking like she is leading a circus As he struggles to keep trim and all sexy, he expects his Eve to put some effort too.

Have your say!

By Naomi- Guest Writer


52 thoughts on “A Glimpse into Adam’s Mind

    • Thanks Ghafla!Guy for your comment,I think I paid them off big time by piecing it up on project 44 platform,kudos to p44!

      • Ghafla!Guy I was trying to focus on the task at hand,listening to the escalating concerns,as the boys held their ground.Next time I will make sure you send Mpesa to the number on your screen for half crate…cheers coming soon.

      • @farmgal hehehe,, lazima! jahnekoh anafaa ajue compe ni compe roho safi.. @Project44 Let’s meet at my local kibanda for some madondo on Sunday afternoon yawa!

    • mmnjug I see you serve your truth just like you would serve your liquor straight!he he thanks for your time,pass on to the Eves you wish to bless with the advice.

      • I read somewhere that marriages fail because women have the expectation that they will change their men, yet they don’t and the men will want their women not to change, and they change….! It usually is downhill from there.

        I read this earlier today, http://bit.ly/KeEks8 Interesting…esp on the part of man/woman relationship…!!

      • The boys also stated,if you are skinny,be sure the Adam will cheat,however,they will look at the skinny but the best option is to leave them for white guys and modeling…African woman figure is a deal breaker and the clean shaven head is a no no no…

    • Odhiambo am green with envy!You sound sorted,hope you ll not watch the train wreck!Thanks for dropping by….

  1. let me take a guess, Naomi as much as she wrote this awesome piece is still like the rest of eves. I hope am wrong and if i am then Naomi is a must-have

    • Did Naomi just get a prospective date ( assuming that she is looking) with this piece? Can project44 hook up Naomi and @Jahnekoh…..hoping he is will pass the test !! Kazi kwenu P44

      That said,I think this piece needs a rejoinder because these ‘boys’ seem to be border on the extreme. But it seems Adams like this vibe,so i am not sure who will redeem the situation. ….Eves mko wapi ?

      • Mimi you’re are right on both counts!sounded like a prospective date,I guess not any more lol,I agree with you the piece needs a rejoinder for Adams to get a users manual right?he he Thanks for popping in.

    • Jahnekoh you spot on,like most Eves the corresponding thumping to Adams twitching body after a fight,I would not play hard to get,I would play never going to happen,until Adam can walk a straight line…Sorry am less awesome(must not have)he he thanks for checking in,drop in help lines

      • ouch! Naomi dear not that i bailed out, i hate dates (cant sit for long without moving) but i love walks. Maybe sometime we could take a walk

      • @ Otieno,P44 is up to the challenge and we are taking this vibe seriously.So @ Jahnekoh,how do you want this matter to proceed so that this walk can be a REALITY? 🙂

      • are u guys gonna keep talking or mtatuchangia doo me na Naomi tuende date. Naomi how abt u hit me cos seems like everybody is vouching for us!!

    • Thanks for taking time to read,interested to pick your brains on what you agree with..kindly feel free to brief us.

  2. Ooooo Yessss!!!

    Finally a posting that I can truly relate to. Naomi mi cheri, next time you look into the mirror, blow yourself a big kiss for you are truly, truly special.

    There is that part you left out. Those Naiga, Latin American, Asian soggy soaps; and ventricular radio stations. Disgusting.

    Thanks Naomi and a very beautiful week ahead for you.

    • Mahe Goat,he he great week ahead too,I must have side stepped that,value added to the piece…

  3. Sharing this on twitter and facebook, and “accidentally” leaving it somewhere where my missus can discover it!
    For real, there are people who list their moms as next of kin when they have a spouse and kids?
    The paragraph about money is spot on. Eves remember everything, except the part where they asked you for some money saying they will refund in a day!

    • OtienoHongo thanks for your comments,I hope your accidentally intended effort,will yield the desired results.Keep us posted on the outcome.

  4. Interesting piece and comments…..are we expecting Eves and Adams to change just to conform to our expectations? That would be a very long shot. My take is you meet someone and you are either able to be with them or not. And that goes for being skinny or fat; unless you are the Maker I just don’t get this deal breaker business. Just my 3 cents.

    • Am tempted to say Amen..”Coming together is the beginning,sticking together is a process,working together is success”Henry Ford..thanks for popping in,and for the rejoinder vote..

  5. No 3. As much as I agree everyone needs their me time. The problem with some adams is that they spend all their free time with *their boys. Your eve will resent you or look for comfort somewhere else.

    4. If an Eve or Adam puts down their mum/dad as next of kin. They really should not be together. (Married or living as husband and wife)

    • Farm gal,long lost,used to reading your comments as opening remarks lol,glad you checked in,MODERATE me time is acceptable,spending way too much time with the boys,the message from Farm gal is “get it together,or forget it forever”
      On next of kin,when communication is work,Adam or Eve work to terrorize one another.Robbery with violence..

  6. Aaaaand just read the comments. Naomi has a date! Watching this space for mucene!! Excited like a little girl. *cheerleader yaay!!!

  7. Go jahnekoh, go.
    Gory details shall be required here Monday.

    Say Naomi, do you wear an old stocking over your hair at night?

    • He he Mahe Goat,are you sure you wanna know?well,go to Fredericks.com you might get a clue..lol

      • Oh, oh. The site. I almost chocked.

        Let me rephrase.

        One of my worst scenes is waking up next to this gorgeous lady who is wearing an old stocking over her hair. This is a massive put off on my part and I understand among many other men.

        So. Do you? (when he is around)

      • Mahe Goat,he he he sorry gentleman,I thought the site would help my case,it was not intended to strike you numb..Thanks for the info,I do not bend protocol!hence no rug stockings

  8. I disappear for a week and I come back to find a dating site… What the? P44, I think you may have just stumbled onto your next venture. Ha! So did the date happen?

    Regarding the post though, I’m with Butterscotch on this one, expecting people to match our expectations is unrealistic, if you like them you take them as they are, flaws and all. Mimi is spot on when she says this needs a rejoinder, some of these sentiments are bollocks. I’m just saying… 🙂

    • Project 44 morphed for a week. We’ll leave it to the parties to share the residuum.

      Re rejoinder, we’re on it ;)!

  9. Gentleman. That has a nice old fashioned taste to it. Gentleman. I like it. Nay. I love it.

    • Mahe Goat,Hehehe,old is gold,your expression to it sounds very organic and heartfelt.Am glad you like oh no glad you love it…Wishing a great mid to end of week-Gentleman.

      • Naomi. Naomi. Naomi. I really do not want to this. I really, really do not. But then again, hey. You do sound like an enchanting lady. Yes a Lady. The truly old fashioned definition.

        So. Indulge me. Take me through your favorite recipe when preparing dinner for a person you are comfortable with. A gentleman perhaps?

        Incidentally, what perfume are you wearing. What fragrance?

        Wilbur Smith has got this way of writing that touches my soul in a special way. Are you reading any fiction currently?

        Michael Jackson. The artist, not the person. What comes to mind?

        One last one. Do you have anything against Jack Bauer?

        PS. Keep this post away from Famooz.

  10. I’ve been trying to choose the point that summed it all up for me. I have made up my mind. Numbers 1 to 6 were the most honest. Is there a way you can publish this on everyone’s walls so they can read it? For real though, this was a great read. I couldn’t have summed it up any better. Keep up the good work P44.

Comments are closed.