Many of us tend to have an ideal partner sketched out in our heads. We all sort of have a shopping list of ‘must have’ traits. Some of the common characteristics Adams & Eves want in their partners include honesty, intelligence, stability, sense of humor, communication, common hobbies and interests. Each gender happens to focus on different specific qualities. Whilst Eves tend to look for a sense of connection, Adams tend to desire a relationship that allows autonomy. Now that we’re over the niceties, let’s get down to business.
There is a certain flock of Eves who, when they stride into a room, cause everyone to stop and stare, and for good although superficial reason. Ask a group of Adams (not around a beer table) what confuses them at first sight and you are likely to get some of the most run-of-the-mill answers: full lips, full bosom and full bum. Short, precise and quick biological adjectives that turn many an Adam’s head. With beautiful physical traits and features being an Adam’s kryptonite, most will never hesitate in committing to the challenge of trying out a quick win on the ‘sent from heaven’ eve in question. The hallmark of the chase is in focusing on endowment and all other important attributes are relegated to the back, nay, exterior of the celebral cortex. Anything that would require a test of time doesn’t stand a chance.
Regardless of how polished, urbane, respectable or simple a man is, a woman’s looks are bound to turn any man into an ‘objectifier’. There is beauty in seeing a lion hunt. It will creep up on its prey with great purpose, furtively weaving in between folds of bush and grass. Long before the prey realizes the stealthy attack, it will be struggling out of the big curly claws but to no avail. A little bit too late. A clear depiction of unrivaled wisdom. What’s with the cliché? Well, Adams will agree that seeing a pride of lions hunt stirs your loins. It yanks us to the reality of this dating game. But then as it goes with ego, a lion won’t pounce on a rabbit when a gazelle is gladly mooching around. It is this relative ‘ego’ that pulls Adams to the beauty, to the contours of voluptuousness, to well-toned and well-framed features at the expense of the inner, emotional and social attributes that helps cement a union.
Of course, part of the attraction between Adam and Eve is often times based on the superficial elements: the contours, the proportions, the gait, etc; that is given. It is the same way that Eves pursue the TDH. But then things have to elevate from there. Now, if a relationship is built only on contours and proportions, then it is likely to remain superficial and will not make for a healthy, long-term relationship. Come to think of it, a relationship driven by money and the lame factor of trying to impress is unlikely to make it even to a month. With time, personalities unravel and if they complement each other, then hail to love and all that; however, if you find that all that beauty was encasing an ignorant type, morbidly insecure, mean, petty, shallow or boringly close-minded individual – then this will likely serve as anti-climax to any form of a relationship that does not involve linking feet.
In some circumstances (they say love is blind), it is heartbreak that opens eyes wide open to the importance of having taken time to know your Eve before going the whole nine yards. Case in point is the tale of a certain US based old lawyer Frank Harvey (not his real name) who followed his beauty queen.”I did everything for my woman”, he says. “I quit my job, moved to New York, changed my friends, my exercise regime and my haircut – all because she wanted me to. When we broke up, I was basically left with nothing. Not even an identity. I had to build myself back from scratch”. In hindsight, that’s what can be referred to as daft at the very least. He followed her beauty and beguiling ways, but he didn’t know completely whom he had been committing to and never knew why he had been getting into a relationship in the first place. Hell, she was a stunner but that’s where his search had stopped. Beauty stuns both from the inside just as well as from the outside.
Adams, there are some fundamentals that also need to be roused if you’re looking for a meaningful relationship. The secret lies in taking time. Whereas your loins may be stirred, the test of time is a good one – there is a saying that with time, all will be revealed. It is critical to know your own values, wants and needs before you enter a relationship. Take your time getting to know each other’s personality, history and values to evaluate whether you two can join hands in beating the drums of love. Taking time makes you come to the reality that a relationship’s success doesn’t lie in the satisfaction that comes with full lips, full bosom and soulful eyes only. It helps you gauge if she’s rational, logical, a curious mind, and a big-picture thinker; if she looks out to the edge of the universe as opposed to sitting around all day kissing the ground. Taking time acquaints you with the boring type, one who doesn’t hold an opinion to the type who does not believe what kings and priests tell her, holding ideas of her own consequently presenting a challenge to life and making it interesting.
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