“He leaned forward and opened his door, politely standing aside to let me by before following me in. There are some advantages to dating a guy from another era, I thought. Though I am a big believer in gender equality, chivalry scores high in my book.” Amy Plum
If you have been on Project 44 for long, you might have come across the post ‘The Experience’. If the comments were anything to go by, the post was particularly well received by Eves: @ Alex wanted a follow-up post, part 2-7 complete with pictures; @ Vivacioushy exclaimed “Halleluiah, chivalry is alive!”; @farmgal was “warmed up” in autumn and @ Kbaab wanted to read about more of these experiences.
A few Adams responded to the post.One @George, who has been a guest writer on the blog, chatted with me and wanted to know if the guy was real. Joyce and I refer to him as ‘The Lord of Chivalry’ (LoC). Well, since I had written about him (after being WOWed), I assured George that the LoC is a real flesh-and-blood Adam. But then I realized he was not asking whether the LoC is a human being but rather, George wanted to know if all that chivalry was real or whether it was just an act. He wondered whether, in the house, this LoC would open the kitchen and lavatory door for his Eve; George signed out but not before saying, “we need to run the chivalry brigade out of town.”
I promised to do a follow-up post. We write for an audience that is composed of a great number of fantastic fans and most of them are ‘ghost’ readers:) so, as you might appreciate, sometimes, we are not sure how much of ourselves we should put out there. (If you find yourself ‘floating’, you might want to go back to the archives and read the post). This is a somewhat “measured” attempt to fulfill the promise but I have to dissatisfy @Alex: no pictures yet, at least not in this post.
Incidentally, a couple of days ago, I spent a considerable amount of time with the LoC – this time not at the famous Blancos but at his home where he played host for a couple of days. I arrived in the city just as planned; he was supposed to pick me up at 6.30pm but he turned up late:). So one may ask, what the hell was happening to the chivalry and I guess this is where @George would give me that ‘I told you this brigade should be run of town’ look. Despair not – his lateness was just a slip; he opened the doors, helped me with my shawl and so on. You can tell that I enjoy this treatment. While in the house, he constantly inquired if I was OK. He was a perfect host and no @George, it did not include opening the lavatory door.
The LoC is not Mr. Perfect as the post made him look and that is probably why he was hesitant when I asked him if I could do a follow-up post on ‘The Experience’. He even went further and told me what I could and could not write in the post in the event that I decide to do write. When we talked about controversial issues, the typical Adam in him was roused (remember he is real-flesh-and-blood)! I asked him what he thought about Eve adopting Adam’s name after marriage and he put up an almost emotional argument that his Eve will have no choice but adopt his surname. Anyway, I concluded that he liked the picture I painted of him and he did not want to spoil the post by saying that he is not perfect as ‘The Experience’ made him sound, but he is OK basking in the praise.
However, he did throw in some insights on what he thinks is ailing modern day chivalry – from Adam’s perspective. He said that we are in the era where Eves have decided to fight for equality, they have showed and maybe rightfully so, that they can do what men can do. While it is clear that Eves have shattered the ceiling in all fields which is all good, it does not mean that they cannot relax and enjoy some pampering and nice treatment from Adam. He said that, back in the day when chivalry was marked by knights, at no time did the princess tell the knight that she could as well mount the horse; she let him do what he was meant to do and she was comfortable in that place.
His advice to Eves was that we need to relax, even as we beat the drums of equality and shatter the glass ceilings, we should not forget that there are many Adams out there who want to simply ‘dance’ with the princess in us. In his opinion, the sentiments that “Adam no clue what should be done” or that “Adam is a typical Kenya man” – meaning he is clueless on matters chivalry should not arise. If Eve hooks up with an Adam who does not know what chivalry is, Eve needs to let him know how she want to be treated, what makes her feel special and do it from the word go. Sure enough, he might not open the car door for you or wait outside the lavatory door (ha ha ha), but if there is a trace of a ‘knight’ in him, he will try to meet your requests as long as you are not asking him to get you someone’s head on a platter.
So to Adams out there, will you fan the ‘coals’ of chivalry? Do something out of your way for your Eve this week and we believe after seeing her beam with joy, you will be touched and do it more often (chivalry that is :)) or even make it your way of life. To Eves, will you heed the advice and just let Adam ‘dance’ with the princess in you? After all, it does not make you look weak or diminish your achievements and independence! The LoC said there is something sexy about it and I tend to agree with him. While at it, please remember to appreciate them when they do extend the chivalrous act(s). I guess @Bezingo might turn up with another tough question about where to find an Adam, leave alone a ‘chivalrous’ lord but as Project 44 reiterates we have to keep hope alive!
Have your say.