A while back, I posted a comment on Project 44. I did not expect to get a follow-up e-mail but I did! It read like this; ‘…And now that you are praying for a wife, maybe you can be a guest writer on our blog and tell us what exactly Adams are looking for in Eves?..’ After a hearty laughter, I became worried! I had this morbid fear that she was (knowingly or unknowingly) partaking something stronger than the ARVs and formalin that ‘spice’ our little treats. Then I thought, what the heck! I might as well have a go at it. And in doing so, I’ll probably have a better look at myself, from a different angle, your angle. I’ll probably get some backlash, something to tantalize my mind, question me, and get those thinking juices flowing. And maybe, just maybe, this is the forum that will facilitate my chancing upon her, that is, assuming that, God indeed purposed me to marry
- That I speak for no man. I was born alone, live in my skin and might probably have no death-mate.
- That I know very little, if anything. Let it be known, that I only came number 1 in class two. That I have never led anything, anything that meant something since then and that even on the said occasion, I was heavily ‘motivated’ by my mother’s slipper.
- That if indeed I had knowledge, at 34, I’d already be married and directing the (excess) energy generated in my nether region, into more worthy causes.
- That I have made many mistakes in my life, taken wrong turns and what’s even more likely, is that I’ll make many more. This write-up may actually be a ‘mistake’ in its own right.
Deal? Therefore, without further ado, after using so many words to say very little, let ‘us’ get into it.
Man is selfish. You might want it put in a more diplomatic manner, something softer. I say, a cow remains a cow, from whatever angle you look at it. I am selfish, you are selfish, we all are selfish! When we undertake selfless ventures, we do so with some little form of selfishness. Yes! It’s like when we use the phrase ‘giving back to the community’, ‘I have done something noble, something Godly’, it is also to feel good about ourselves. Someone once told me that giving is receiving and my mind interpreted it to mean, ‘anyone expecting something in return for giving, wants more than they have given!’ That cannot be fair! ‘Gerrit’?
Please, before you condemn me as a charlatan, hear me out. Why am I saying this? Being the selfish individual that I am, I want to live a decent life. A life with little pleasures, a long life, a pleasant life. It is in this regard that I’ve always (and might always) needed help. When I was a baby I needed my parents, now that I have pubic hair I need a wife (hopefully, one with pubic hair of her own) and when I grow senile I’ll need my children. All these to help serve a purpose in my (selfish) life. Agreed?
Now, here is the thing. I know that the people I have/will need, are selfish themselves. My parents are selfish, my wife will be selfish and my kids will be selfish too. My parents probably had me (I hope that I was a planned pregnancy) to fit in with their crowd, to feel good that other than buying good clothes and eating good food, they were undertaking a worthy venture, that they were looking out for themselves in their old age. The canes they dished out prove this! They wanted to mold me into what they wanted. ‘Gerrit’?
My wife will be selfish. I hope she is. Any selfless woman would denote a lack of complete DNA, something I don’t want passed on to my offspring. She will want a good life. A life with bills paid, a life with (a lot) of compliments and gifts, a secure and safe life, a warm bed, a life where she accomplishes her goals and serves her purpose a comfortable life. For fear of saying something I might pay for later, I’ve put down just but a few of the things the complicated fairer sex might want in their lives. No man has ever understood a woman, I won’t to attempt to be the first.
How then do I choose this woman over the rest? How do I pick out one (not that I have any to pick from, it sounded good to say it though!) and marry her selfish needs to my own? WISDOM! No?
Where do you get wisdom? In my quest for wisdom, I’ve read books, many books, from Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves to some book I’d not want to remember, one that our chemistry teacher tried to teach us from; from erotica (hehehe this one always has made my heart beating a little faster and trousers a little tighter) to cook books. I have interacted with a lot of people; from Wangui, who led me through a roller-coaster of emotions in my pre-teen years to Soldier, who just won’t let me pass through the gate in peace. From prostitutes to priests……
I have come to the conclusion that Wisdom can only be gotten from God. That it is a gift He bestows on whom He wills. That any other purported source of wisdom is questionable. That I can try to imitate the things done by (purported) wise men in any given situation but will only come to the realization that, it might have worked out for them, given their circumstances which may have been way different from mine. That, it’s only in obeying God’s word and getting down on my knees, seeking His will. (For praying without first doing what God tells you to do, may be an exercise in futility and I don’t want to try finding that out).
In the beginning was the Word, the Word was with God and the Word was God. The Bible has been a good ‘guide’ in many aspects of my life. It would have been, for ALL aspects but then, and like I said earlier, I’ve made foolish decisions in life. It has something even for someone seeking a wife!
This is what I pray for, this is what I think this Adam is looking for in an Eve: I want a (short) woman, who is always on her knees, seeking God and the wisdom that comes from Him!
That will be a marriage of (selfish) wants and needs, in a wise way. A common purpose. For the rest of our lives.
PS: If there be any such woman out there, please get in touch firstname.lastname@example.org