Me and Mine

A while back, I posted a comment on Project 44. I did not expect to get a follow-up e-mail but I did! It read like this;  ‘…And now that you are praying for a wife, maybe you can be a guest writer on our blog and tell us what exactly Adams are looking for in Eves?..’ After a hearty laughter, I became worried! I had this morbid fear that she was (knowingly or unknowingly) partaking something stronger than the ARVs and formalin that ‘spice’ our little treats. Then I thought, what the heck! I might as well have a go at it. And in doing so, I’ll probably have a better look at myself, from a different angle, your angle. I’ll probably get some backlash, something to tantalize my mind, question me, and get those thinking juices flowing. And maybe, just maybe, this is the forum that will facilitate my chancing upon her, that is, assuming that, God indeed purposed me to marry

I have conditions; any self-respecting Adam would (or should). Something to hide behind….

  1. That I speak for no man. I was born alone, live in my skin and might probably have no death-mate.
  2. That I know very little, if anything. Let it be known, that I only came number 1 in class two. That I have never led anything, anything that meant something since then and that even on the said occasion, I was heavily ‘motivated’ by my mother’s slipper.
  3. That if indeed I had knowledge, at 34, I’d already be married and directing the (excess) energy generated in my nether region, into more worthy causes.
  4. That I have made many mistakes in my life, taken wrong turns and what’s even more likely, is that I’ll make many more. This write-up may actually be a ‘mistake’ in its own right.

Deal? Therefore, without further ado, after using so many words to say very little, let ‘us’ get into it.

Man is selfish. You might want it put in a more diplomatic manner, something softer. I say, a cow remains a cow, from whatever angle you look at it. I am selfish, you are selfish, we all are selfish! When we undertake selfless ventures, we do so with some little form of selfishness. Yes! It’s like when we use the phrase ‘giving back to the community’, ‘I have done something noble, something Godly’, it is also to feel good about ourselves. Someone once told me that giving is receiving and my mind interpreted it to mean, ‘anyone expecting something in return for giving, wants more than they have given!’ That cannot be fair! ‘Gerrit’?

Please, before you condemn me as a charlatan, hear me out. Why am I saying this? Being the selfish individual that I am, I want to live a decent life. A life with little pleasures, a long life, a pleasant life. It is in this regard that I’ve always (and might always) needed help. When I was a baby I needed my parents, now that I have pubic hair I need a wife (hopefully, one with pubic hair of her own) and when I grow senile I’ll need my children. All these to help serve a purpose in my (selfish) life. Agreed?

Now, here is the thing. I know that the people I have/will need, are selfish themselves. My parents are selfish, my wife will be selfish and my kids will be selfish too. My parents probably had me (I hope that I was a planned pregnancy) to fit in with their crowd, to feel good that other than buying good clothes and eating good food, they were undertaking a worthy venture, that they were looking out for themselves in their old age. The canes they dished out prove this! They wanted to mold me into what they wanted. ‘Gerrit’?

My wife will be selfish. I hope she is. Any selfless woman would denote a lack of complete DNA, something I don’t want passed on to my offspring. She will want a good life. A life with bills paid, a life with (a lot) of compliments and gifts, a secure and safe life, a warm bed, a life where she accomplishes her goals and serves her purpose a comfortable life. For fear of saying something I might pay for later, I’ve put down just but a few of the things the complicated fairer sex might want in their lives. No man has ever understood a woman, I won’t to attempt to be the first.

How then do I choose this woman over the rest? How do I pick out one (not that I have any to pick from, it sounded good to say it though!) and marry her selfish needs to my own?  WISDOM! No?

Where do you get wisdom? In my quest for wisdom, I’ve read books, many books, from Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves to some book I’d not want to remember, one that our chemistry teacher tried to teach us from; from erotica (hehehe this one always has made my heart beating a little faster and trousers a little tighter) to cook books. I have interacted with a lot of people; from Wangui, who led me through a roller-coaster of emotions in my pre-teen years to Soldier, who just won’t let me pass through the gate in peace. From prostitutes to priests……

I have come to the conclusion that Wisdom can only be gotten from God. That it is a gift He bestows on whom He wills. That any other purported source of wisdom is questionable. That I can try to imitate the things done by (purported) wise men in any given situation but will only come to the realization that, it might have worked out for them, given their circumstances which may have been way different from mine. That, it’s only in obeying God’s word and getting down on my knees, seeking His will. (For praying without first doing what God tells you to do, may be an exercise in futility and I don’t want to try finding that out).

In the beginning was the Word, the Word was with God and the Word was God. The Bible has been a good ‘guide’ in many aspects of my life. It would have been, for ALL aspects but then, and like I said earlier, I’ve made foolish decisions in life. It has something even for someone seeking a wife!

This is what I pray for, this is what I think this Adam is looking for in an Eve: I want a (short) woman, who is always on her knees, seeking God and the wisdom that comes from Him!

That will be a marriage of (selfish) wants and needs, in a wise way. A common purpose. For the rest of our lives.

By Guestwriter

PS: If there be any such woman out there, please get in touch


23 thoughts on “Me and Mine

  1. ……………….When I was a baby I needed my parents, now that I have pubic hair I need a wife (hopefully, one with pubic hair of her own)

  2. Could this guy tell us a bit more about himself? Surely,you do not expect Eves to be interested just based on this.
    and will you provide us some feedback at the end of the week as to how many e-mails you received? I see that project44 might just end up producing a power couple !

      • How about just something small about yourself. Nothing personal. you know for example,i like to laugh,i enjoy the company of friends,i do not like going out a lot,i am an extrovert,dark,long hair,medium body build ( 5’3) ,i am moody,i like to cook ,i like sports,i am self employed or broke ( this is important)…..etc….such like stuff

      • When you look too deeply into me, you’ll see alot of imperfections. You might see a reflection of yourself. I beleive that love is a product of hard work, I beleive that love conquers all. The rest are details.. some might even call them trivia. One who dwells on them, I can only offer my friendship.

  3. Praying for a wife: This prayer has taken long to get an answer. Am sure there is a …. (short) woman, who is always on her knees, seeking God and the wisdom that comes from Him! ALL THE BEST

  4. So in summary, you are a selfish man, who knows little but seeks wisdom from God, looking for a (short) woman, who is kneeling, and is also selfish, and is also seeking God? Okay then. The tone of your post makes it sound like you are a man who appreciates a direct approach, so I hope you will not take offence at what I’m about to say. Your ‘ad’ (for lack of a better term), is not very appealing. Frankly, its too honest. Sometimes, sir, you have to sugar-coat the bitter pill that is reality, especially when it comes to matters romantic? Put differently, you catch more flies with honey, and this phrase, “marriage of (selfish) wants and needs, in a wise way”, is not honey.

    You said the bible has been a good guide to you, may I suggest The Songs of Solomon as your dating guide? There’s beauty and poetry in the good book, as well as wisdom. My 2 cents.

    Good luck to you. When you find her, and I have no doubt you shall, please come back so we can fight over the ‘on her knees’ part.

    • I hear you, no offence taken.

      Thanks for directing me to The Songs of Solomon.. The Bible says he was the wisest man that ever lived. I really hope I don’t catch many ‘flies’.. just that one ‘fly’, my ‘fly’, or else I might be back here asking how to settle for one among the many.

  5. Well, someplace on the opening paragraph you say you will probably get a backlash,and you have ! But i think it is because people expect the usual ‘i want this and that in my Eve and Adam’. If i get right,i think what you are saying is that yes,you want all that but then ,you will need wisdom to make that decision.
    Good luck! But relax a bit on this because we do not always get what we want.And Eve will get scared once you start talking like,so loosen up a bit,enjoy life and in that process,maybe she will come( as in come your way)

  6. Well said.

    I’m actually grateful at the feedback.. backlash and all. From anniespice, I’ve thought some about time. At 34, people will naturally assume that i might have some short comings, maybe I do. But then, my Bible tells me that everything works in God’s time. I said that this post might be a mistake in its own right, unless God wills it, my hankering around might only serve to tire me.

    From Alex, I’ve gathered that (alot.. if not all) ladies would rather soft words that outright directness. I’m still asking around if this is the case with ALL ladies, and trying to figure out if I’ll have to change whom I am to get what I (think I) want. Or if there are those that appreciate and love me for whom I am.

    I’m still trying to figure out mpenzi. Thing is, I do know there are ladies and there are women, there are angels and there are bitches.. sometimes all in one person!

    And from vivaciously, that I have a sense of humor.

  7. hmmm…interesting piece, i too think that the preamble promised much more than was delivered

    guestwriter, at some point you may want to do a bit more of finding/looking in addition to the praying. short, even portable women are there, you just need to sell your game (and that is not trivia)

    wish you well

    • This post reminds me of what my youth pastor used to say that ‘some people are so heavenly bound that they are earthly useless’ Ok,that one is strong and i am not referring to guest writer as useless. It is to say that we are still here on earth and the game of dating has been that-a game- since a long time ago. so maybbe try and have a balanced intercourse (interaction )between what the bible says ( i also believe) and how the game of dating on this world operates.

      • Ouch!

        Serve two masters? How now? My Bible tells me it’s virtually impossible, or is it?

  8. ‘dont expect too much because chances are you wil be disappointed’ . .the post didn’t match my expectations.
    Maybe the writer should stop explaining who he is ‘selfish’ and just be what he is. There is an eve who will love you for that.
    I disagree that we are all ‘selfish’. We just have needs and wants that require satisfaction.

    • Feedback much appreciated.

      I think you meant.. Don’t expect too much FROM YOU, because I didn’t match YOUR expectations, no? Please have no fear about my being disappointed, (it denotes an element of caring on your part, a beautiful trait),.. says my mail.

  9. Our guest writer, hope you enjoyed guesting writing at Project 44. Do let us know how the search has gone, whether it has yielded any emails, etc.

    Have a good weekend.

    • Thank you.

      It was a new experience, I’ll tell you that. You might just have started my journey as a writer. The feedback was insightful. About emails, unfortunately I don’t kiss and tell. Thank you tho’ for your invite and hosting me.

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