What Keeps Men Happy

As I was just starting to write this post, I thought that the title of the post could be even shorter – “how to keep a man”. Period. In this day and age when finding someone to date seems like a hunt for a big needle in a haystack, it would only seem imperative that one must have all the tips for keeping a relationship and keeping their significant other by their side. Any tips short of shackling them to the bedroom furniture or any other furniture in the house for that matter. The truth is that you can only ‘keep’ someone next to you if they want to stay. Sometimes keeping that relationship running requires a bit of engineering here and there, deeds that will stoke and keep the fires burning and those joints, balls and bearings well lubricated. I did a bit of research on what men like and it seems that although men are different individuals (as we all are), there are some commonalities that seem to stroke them the same way, bringing a feline …..OK, lion’s smile on their lips. These are some of the things they say keep men happy:

One of the things that many people seem to think opens a gateway to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Who doesn’t love a good meal? Whip him up a meal that will speak to his taste buds and his stomach; it doesn’t have to be a gourmet meal with a long European name, just something that will thrill him gastronomically. Now to be honest, the gastronomical ‘climax’ is usually left to what his mum cooks and frankly, no one is asking Eve to compete with these maternal culinary skills but for you to thrill him gastronomically, it means you will need to know your man. You will need to know what he likes and sometimes, what pleases him is just a simple dish made with lots of love and/or affection by his Eve.

Letting him feel and know that you need him. In this world where everyone is striving to make something of themselves, it is possible to be in a relationship where two peoples’ capabilities are growing and instead of cementing the relationship, this growth can cause a rift between Adam and Eve. Now, this is not say that someone (read Eve) has to concede but it is important that both people feel needed in the relationship otherwise it would beg the question of why they are together in the first place if they both feel self-fulfilled. So Eve, make your man feel and know that you need him; this does not only apply to changing the fuse when it blows (and here I don’t mean your internal fuse ;)), but giving him space to be a man in various aspects of the relationship. A certain wise man said that men’s natural instincts are to provide and protect.  Give him the space to do just that. Seeking his opinion will let him know that you value what he thinks. It is said that the ‘Miss Independence Syndrome’ only works to put men off – men need to feel needed. As has been said here before, showing him that you need him does not take anything away from who you are.

Swing from that bedroom chandelier and if you don’t have one yet, get one installed ASAP! Just kidding! There is all that talk about being a cougar in the bedroom. This is an area where apparently men don’t mind women taking a lead once in a while and pleasantly surprising them. You know the drill……I don’t think I need to elaborate 😉 but I will do just that…just a little bit. Kama Sutra was actually meant for human beings with extensive acrobatic capacities – well because all joints in the body are flexible, meaning they can assume a RANGE of positions. You may not be able to get into the ‘Lusty Leg Lift’ but you sure can get into a few of the others. Ignore this advice at your own peril.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. It is one of the vitals in keeping a good relationship running and we wrote about this a while ago, so I will not belabor the point. One of the most important aspects of respect for men is not being put in a position where they feel emasculated, especially not in public.  This varies from how a man is made to feel about the weight of his wallet or how Eve talks about him or to him in public; any action that may demean them is likely to push them away from Eve. It is just how men are engineered. That said, respect could have different meanings to different people, so it helps to know what respect means to your Adam.

We all love a good word about ourselves and this is especially true for men. Compliment him and expression appreciation for what he does, however simple an act it may seem. It does wonders to boost that ego and who knows who may end up hanging off those chandeliers! Still kidding! In addition, being that shoulder to lean on when skies are grey and the silver lining is all but sooty makes as much a difference as when you spur him on in his endeavors.

Above all, be sure to remain your own person and let him be his own person. Remember, you both ‘fell’ for each other (depending on what stage your relationship is at) because of things you saw in each other as individuals, not because you noticed the makings of a Siamese bond between the two of you. Don’t smother what you feel for each other, give it time to blossom and breath and that includes giving Adam his space.

This is apparently what makes men happy in a relationship. What do you think?

Have your say.

By Joyce


14 thoughts on “What Keeps Men Happy

    • ahem….Charles, that would be blowing my own trumpet, wouldn’t it?…..well, except for hanging from the chandelier..i don’t think the lighting upholstery can take it 😉

  1. At the risk of being called too heavenly bound for this world, Seek Ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.

    In days long gone, I ate many a meal, basked in songs of praise, learnt how to pronounce couger in many a dialect and still walked.

    • This is for sure toooooo heavenly bound !!! We are still on this earth,and even for those who seek ( many of us do),we still have to deal with the nature of fallen man ( and woman ) …….. meaning that all things are not rosy or perfect in this world.We have a role to play in making our relationship good,i guess that is why people say “relationships are work “.

      • If you get me to Kiss-n-tell, you might be the first.

        @Bezingo you continue with the struggle, God gave you the choice. Remember tho’ that you neither have the power nor might. You can’t even make yourself live! If you think eating, drinking and sleeping will, try creating the food (from a single atom I guess), try digesting it by making your insides produce the acid etc, try creating the water, try making your body rest in sleep and dictate the type of sleep. If and when you do, we can then talk.

        You live by His grace.

        Now to think that you can manipulate another human into loving you and sticking by you, ati by cooking, cleaning and scr*wing his brains out, by your power and might, then ….. *insert your own words coz the author of this reply is in shock*

  2. Oh come on Joyce, you have got to be kidding me.

    The title should actually have been how to be a good maid/housekeeper.

    It feels so old fashioned. So bland. So taste less. A wife like that would kill me. My father or Uncles would love such a wife. Or would recommend such a wife to their children were these the match making times.

    Then it hit me. The basics. The fundamentals.

    You are actually very right.

    The trick then remains how good you are at pulling it off as a woman. My grandmothers’ generation had to pull off the trick but on a very different scenarios in as far as the day to day life was concerned. Their 1920s to the 1960s lifestyles were very different to my parents’ life styles of the 1960s to 2000 and so is today’s lifestyles.

    Today, the woman has to not only work formally, some in more than one job, for a living but also work in making a home for her man and family. The trick is usually the relationship with the house help. I really hate that word mboch. Most of the homemaking can be delegated to her if only one compliments your desire in bringing out the home you so aspire to have.

    I guess the real question is; what is the man worth to you? Is he the type you could not have a life without? Does he compliment your life? If yes then I guess you will scour the world to make his and your home the best.

    Thank you Joyce. You have reminded me of the building blocks required of a woman in a relationship or am I getting soft in my middle age?

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