Season’s Greetings

It’s been a good year folks – very good.

Thank you very much  for your patronage, especially to those who took time to read and engage other Project 44 fans in dialogue, and even to introduce Project 44 to your friends – we are honored to have had you here every week.

pushing-papers-com1

To all those ghost readers – you know yourselves – we value you too and hope you will come out one day; or should we hold your ‘coming out’ party? 😉

Special thanks to our guest writers; you are all amazing.

Wishing you a merry Christmas and a happy 2013, have fun and do not get “trapped!”

We will be back on 14th Jan 2013.

By Project 44

Bombing Kandahar

Recently, we had the pleasure of reading a very creative thread on a certain website. The writer, an obviously very humorous person, titled the thread, ‘How long?’ and then went ahead and wrote ‘How long should she hold before granting him a permit to land his ‘Air Force 1’ at the capital city of Thigh Land :)?’ Needless to say, this thread received responses with matched creativity. One of the members said something to the effect that ‘Air Force 1’ needs to request to ‘land’, and if not allowed, it needs to make an emergency landing!

In a landlocked country west of Kenya, landing the ‘Air Force 1’ has been referred to as ‘Bombing Kandahar’. Now, you must understand that in this country, there is a whole profession dedicated to matters ‘air-borne and landing of aircraft’. The professional is referred to as ‘Ssenga’; this is a woman whose pure role is to teach women of marriageable age how to please a man; (the Ssenga also has some lessons and practices for younger girls, but Project 44 will leave it to you to ask and discover).

Rumor has it that there have been outcries from Kenyan women at the border and beyond because of the (un)founded concerns that women from the Ssenga country have completely captured the imagination of men in Kenya and the men have acted on this with fervor. One would be tempted to believe that in this said country, ‘Air Force 1’ lands with a 7.8 degree earthquake aftermath! Why else would this experience be referred to as ‘Bombing Kandahar’? Neither would anyone blame those Adams who have received the necessary ‘support’ to deliver an ‘aftershock’-inducing landing!

theloveinhereyes.comBack to the essence of this piece…..there is a lot that can be said about how much time Adam and Eve have to wait before getting deep into the cookie business hence forth referred to as ‘bombing’. From the time way before someone in a certain garden ate a certain fruit until today, there are people who subscribe to the no bombing-till-marriage point of view. For everyone else who ascribes to point of views outside this one, there is a lot of labeling that goes on depending on how long people decide to wait when dating/in a relationship. Suffice to say that the labeling is very much that of Eve (whether she ‘gives it up easily’ or not) but it is also true that Eves use this as a measure of how seriously interested Adam is in her and not only in her ASSets.

Comedian Steve Harvey who is well known to Eves as the author of ‘Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man’ is not so much concerned with the aftermath of ‘bombing’, but rather on how long it should take before a ‘landing’ signal is read on the ‘radar’. His advice is that, when Eve and Adam are getting to know each other/dating, no ‘bombing’ should take place before 90 days have elapsed. So simply, this means that if dating began in January, forget that Valentine’s Day is around the corner, accept the flowers and chocolates, but it is not yet time for any lights to flicker on the ‘runway’ until April!

For those of you who read the topic on ‘Zero Grazing’, and Googled the word ‘oestradiol’, you will agree that whether Eve is fully ‘oestradionised’ or has traces of this vital hormone, coupled with a testosterone-laden Adam, waiting for 90 days sounds more like waiting for leasehold to expire so as to purchase a property. (In Kenya, leaseholds used to span up to 999 years!:)).

To paraphrase ‘Dr. Steve’, just because Adam has asked Eve out does not mean that he has an automatic membership to ‘NATO’ and can therefore ‘bomb’ in self interest. He says that any Adam with good intentions will respect the rules that have been laid down and that this could be one sign that his interest is not only ‘Kandahar-based’; he is interested in other greater regions of ‘Afghanistan’ ;). conversationsatthebar.blogspot.comHowever, do not be ‘fooled’, he still wants to ‘bomb’!  This is where Eve’s role of ensuring that the period of familiarization with the ‘greater regions’ is implemented because this crucial period gives a healthy sense of whether Adam just wants to land and disembark passengers or is actually interested in Eve and deserves her benefits.

It is said that an Eve who waits some months (or even longer) before letting Adam into the cookie jar has a lot of self-respect and also shows that she wants to get to know Adam on other levels apart from the physical one. This is a sign that clearly Eve is looking for a relationship and not a quick rumble in the hay. As time goes by, if Adam and Eve spend quality time together, they are likely to discover different things about each and other and their compatibility for a relationship before they can test whether they make fireworks in the bedroom or whether the whole physical experience turns out to be something akin to a mortician’s nightmare.

marvelkitty.tumblr.comIn fact, there are quite a few studies out there that show that couples who delay getting to know each other in the bedroom tend to be happier and have longer lasting relationships. Of course, the success of a relationship is affected by many other factors but looking at this one factor, research shows emotional intimacy is enhanced the longer the couple waits before engaging in deep 😉 physical intimacy. Great, even explosive physical intimacy, is a good thing but it tends to cloud exploration and judgment in the earlier stages of dating/relationship.

However, no one said that waiting is easy and Eve needs to be alive to the likelihood that the ‘Air Force 1’ might decide that it has been airborne for too long (especially if all that is happening is ticking days off the calendar :)) and decides to crash land elsewhere. If this happens, Eve should not wonder if it was a Boeing 737 or Cessna 172; rather, she should be happy that whatever the make, it self-combusted miles away from her beautiful self. After all, isn’t life broader than ‘magnitudes’ and ‘aftershocks’?

Have your say.

By Project 44

Depreciating Assets

As a person, I am of the preference of not dating someone I have known for less than a year. No, it is not that I am a member of the ‘play-hard-to-get’ club – let’s face it, you just can’t fake some things, but I digress. I am just a person who believes that humans, unlike buildings, tend to be more of depreciating assets. The value of the first impression they give you is slowly eroded by the effect of time. Therefore, I feel the importance of moving the car beyond the showroom and checking out its performance on the road for a while.

I am sure we all know this story, we have been through it countless number of times, and we identify with it. When we first meet people, the first couple of months are simply magical. They seem to get an A in everything. The guy calls often, texts every morning and evening. He seems to remember everything about you that you say. For those initial moments you seem to be the most important person to him. He is also very committed to making things work, he does all the possible things he has heard from church, read from books or been advised to do. He is a picture of perfection; you can’t seem to find anything wrong. The lady too is a lovely being, she is oh so sweet, says all the right things at the right time, her looks are nearly almost always perfect, she is not the pushy one or the one who drives you insane…you feel like you have landed gold.

cartoonstock.comTime passes and the story becomes interesting…rather more dramatic. The dude starts to strain to call you, text you and even meet you. He used to have time to meet you or would make it but as time goes by, eh things get thick and he can’t manage to meet you for one or two reasons. Then…wait for it…the sweet Eve begins to lash out at Adam. Oops…the perfect mirror breaks, the illusion begins to fall apart. The Adam you once trusted becomes a disappointment, they become the reason you are frustrated half the time, and the reality of the fakeness of it comes. You begin to wonder why you liked this Eve and when she picked up the talent of pissing you off every so often. Her once clean slate now has oily sticky smudges that cannot go away. There begins the rising of temperatures, the complaints escalating, each one trying hard to get back the illusion version that they had liked so much. Sadly, the illusion will never resurrect…it was just a fallacy.

However, even in all the dissolution, there are rays of hope. You still remain because there are still some burning splints that keep you there. Even in the mess of it all, you notice that he is still a kind man; he apologizes for his errors and tries to make up for it. He still cares about you and panics when ‘criminal groups’ are prowling the town and you are within Moi Avenue. He is still protective of you. He remembers the details of your life like you told him yesterday. She, on the other hand is caring;she is the one who helps you look for that job, attends your gigs, she even helps set up and set down, and she is your fan. She finds a way to help you out when you are stuck and doesn’t mind that you are a ‘sufferer’. She is still a great listener, and if you’ve pissed her off, you learn to give her a little time.

The great lesson of it all is simply that character is consistent; it is the consistency of choices made by a person, the ability to sustain a certain mode of operation. The things that are truly in a person’s nature remain evident even when other things fall apart. The things they were doing to impress you begin to suffer failure as they were not their true character. It is at this point that you begin to ask if you can survive them. You begin to understand how to deal with their incredible mood swings. You begin to learn to be on time – if you are dating people like me who strive to keep time and look like a red boiling tomato when someone is late J, I won’t lie – patience is not Fearless Nazirite’s strong attribute. You begin to alter some things in your relationship to suit the present human.

I guess we really are like catime_will_tellrs. Every single car depreciates once it’s off the showroom. The difference in a good one and a bad one is its general performance on the road, even with its evident failures when compared to others. It the same way humans are once they are off the grace period. In much the same way, some people afford Bentleys and others afford Toyotas. I can stand perfectionists and moody characters, heck I have lived with them all my life, I am a bright personality, and it’s difficult to keep me pissed. Their moods may irritate me, but it’s not too big an issue, I will still laugh and have fun with my moody people rather effortlessly. My roomie on the other hand cannot stand a moody person J. I find it hard to romantically cope with a talkative person (even though I am such a story teller) – I like my men reserved and predictable, a sense of solitude in them. Now give such a man to my roomie, eer…she may not make it. She is quite the solitude solace herself… In the end, the perfect picture may have depreciated, the illusions fallen apart, but you need to know that their bad breath will not kill you, hence my preference for taking my one year getting to know the real person behind the effort. I want to know I like what is there when you are just being you. I need to know a man’s bad breath shall not kill me …then I can wake up next to him and know I shall surely not die…

By Fearless Nazirite – Guest Writer

 http://fearlessnazirite.wordpress.com/