Bombing Kandahar

Recently, we had the pleasure of reading a very creative thread on a certain website. The writer, an obviously very humorous person, titled the thread, ‘How long?’ and then went ahead and wrote ‘How long should she hold before granting him a permit to land his ‘Air Force 1’ at the capital city of Thigh Land :)?’ Needless to say, this thread received responses with matched creativity. One of the members said something to the effect that ‘Air Force 1’ needs to request to ‘land’, and if not allowed, it needs to make an emergency landing!

In a landlocked country west of Kenya, landing the ‘Air Force 1’ has been referred to as ‘Bombing Kandahar’. Now, you must understand that in this country, there is a whole profession dedicated to matters ‘air-borne and landing of aircraft’. The professional is referred to as ‘Ssenga’; this is a woman whose pure role is to teach women of marriageable age how to please a man; (the Ssenga also has some lessons and practices for younger girls, but Project 44 will leave it to you to ask and discover).

Rumor has it that there have been outcries from Kenyan women at the border and beyond because of the (un)founded concerns that women from the Ssenga country have completely captured the imagination of men in Kenya and the men have acted on this with fervor. One would be tempted to believe that in this said country, ‘Air Force 1’ lands with a 7.8 degree earthquake aftermath! Why else would this experience be referred to as ‘Bombing Kandahar’? Neither would anyone blame those Adams who have received the necessary ‘support’ to deliver an ‘aftershock’-inducing landing!

theloveinhereyes.comBack to the essence of this piece…..there is a lot that can be said about how much time Adam and Eve have to wait before getting deep into the cookie business hence forth referred to as ‘bombing’. From the time way before someone in a certain garden ate a certain fruit until today, there are people who subscribe to the no bombing-till-marriage point of view. For everyone else who ascribes to point of views outside this one, there is a lot of labeling that goes on depending on how long people decide to wait when dating/in a relationship. Suffice to say that the labeling is very much that of Eve (whether she ‘gives it up easily’ or not) but it is also true that Eves use this as a measure of how seriously interested Adam is in her and not only in her ASSets.

Comedian Steve Harvey who is well known to Eves as the author of ‘Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man’ is not so much concerned with the aftermath of ‘bombing’, but rather on how long it should take before a ‘landing’ signal is read on the ‘radar’. His advice is that, when Eve and Adam are getting to know each other/dating, no ‘bombing’ should take place before 90 days have elapsed. So simply, this means that if dating began in January, forget that Valentine’s Day is around the corner, accept the flowers and chocolates, but it is not yet time for any lights to flicker on the ‘runway’ until April!

For those of you who read the topic on ‘Zero Grazing’, and Googled the word ‘oestradiol’, you will agree that whether Eve is fully ‘oestradionised’ or has traces of this vital hormone, coupled with a testosterone-laden Adam, waiting for 90 days sounds more like waiting for leasehold to expire so as to purchase a property. (In Kenya, leaseholds used to span up to 999 years!:)).

To paraphrase ‘Dr. Steve’, just because Adam has asked Eve out does not mean that he has an automatic membership to ‘NATO’ and can therefore ‘bomb’ in self interest. He says that any Adam with good intentions will respect the rules that have been laid down and that this could be one sign that his interest is not only ‘Kandahar-based’; he is interested in other greater regions of ‘Afghanistan’ ;). conversationsatthebar.blogspot.comHowever, do not be ‘fooled’, he still wants to ‘bomb’!  This is where Eve’s role of ensuring that the period of familiarization with the ‘greater regions’ is implemented because this crucial period gives a healthy sense of whether Adam just wants to land and disembark passengers or is actually interested in Eve and deserves her benefits.

It is said that an Eve who waits some months (or even longer) before letting Adam into the cookie jar has a lot of self-respect and also shows that she wants to get to know Adam on other levels apart from the physical one. This is a sign that clearly Eve is looking for a relationship and not a quick rumble in the hay. As time goes by, if Adam and Eve spend quality time together, they are likely to discover different things about each and other and their compatibility for a relationship before they can test whether they make fireworks in the bedroom or whether the whole physical experience turns out to be something akin to a mortician’s nightmare.

marvelkitty.tumblr.comIn fact, there are quite a few studies out there that show that couples who delay getting to know each other in the bedroom tend to be happier and have longer lasting relationships. Of course, the success of a relationship is affected by many other factors but looking at this one factor, research shows emotional intimacy is enhanced the longer the couple waits before engaging in deep 😉 physical intimacy. Great, even explosive physical intimacy, is a good thing but it tends to cloud exploration and judgment in the earlier stages of dating/relationship.

However, no one said that waiting is easy and Eve needs to be alive to the likelihood that the ‘Air Force 1’ might decide that it has been airborne for too long (especially if all that is happening is ticking days off the calendar :)) and decides to crash land elsewhere. If this happens, Eve should not wonder if it was a Boeing 737 or Cessna 172; rather, she should be happy that whatever the make, it self-combusted miles away from her beautiful self. After all, isn’t life broader than ‘magnitudes’ and ‘aftershocks’?

Have your say.

By Project 44

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19 thoughts on “Bombing Kandahar

  1. I wish I was still a virgin.

    The wages of sin is death. Adultery and fornication lead to the death of some respect and the need of a permanent Eve. It also lead to the death of ignorance to the fact that some ‘airports’ have seen all manner and number of planes, the death of knowledge that some airports cannot be tamed to accommodate a single plane, heck maybe not even a carrier! It lead to the curse of comparison.

    But with God’s grace I’m beginning to appreciate the sanctity of matters aviation. Its been many months… and counting. Till marriage.

    • @ Munene,glad you enjoyed.
      @ praying for a wife, so i have my fingers on the keyboard but do not know how to respond to this one hehehehe! Have you read that link that @Alex has posted?

      • hehehe… Alex does know things! A former co-worker used to call it ‘Diminishing rate of return’. I’ll have a tshirt made out ‘Tusizoeane!’ just coz I know ‘I’m not your brother’ might not auger well with her, when matters aviation are limited. @Alex, it does happen both ways, doesn’t it?

    • Alex! That one made me laugh hahahha . Thanks for sharing. See what “bombing” does to all these little treats? It obliterates them !!!!

      • Ladies, the treats will always fade away, one way or the other, only in this case cause and effect are more clearly linked. Ha! That’s the sceptic talking, ignore her.

        @praying, it definitely goes both ways, something to do with the thrill of the hunt and the satisfaction that comes thereafter, the urge to make an effort is significantly reduced (read fewer trips to the salon, etc). But you didn’t hear that from me…

    • Halleluiah – this is ‘Christmas’ in the making! The meeting can definitely be arranged, see the post “Me and Mine” and if we can be of any further assistance, let us know ;).

    • I have just read this. The smile on my face and warmth in my heart will last till way past the New Year. God bless you for that.

      I love me a go-getter in a lady… and one who’s a looker like you! Wah! Si you are wonderfully made! I already want to have babies with you 😉

      But now, l might have left out that ‘brave’ is not a term that would be easily used to describe me; neither would ‘Superman’, ‘Hulk’ or any other fancy hero. I’m a relatively new christian convert and my purse has more coins than crisp notes. You might also need shades and bright neon lighting to consider me ‘soft on the eye’. I am sorry if I may have misrepresented myself in any way, however if you still would like to meet up (which I’m praying even more that you do) let us plan for a day when you are ovulating 🙂 the jokes will sound funnier, you might smile more and the pressure on this Adam will be bearable. Have you heard the joke about ‘Spot’?

      • haha => when you pray for a wife you get the wife you want, i just want to have coffee with you,, seem like a Godly man , a man who chooses God over human is a Godly man . consider the shades and neon . its a date check your mail and lovely 2013. 😉

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