How Well Do You Know Him/Her?

I attended a bridal shower of a friend, a respectable one ;). No male strippers or anything like that, just a bunch of young women having fun and sending off their dear one to the matrimonial land. As it happens in many of these parties, we played the game where the bride had to answer questions about the groom, to test how well she really knows him. Of course, for every question she got right, we cheered her on and for every question she got wrong, she had to take a shot of something quite strong that would eventually go to her head and make her knees all wobbly and her speech slurred. Now, the trick in this case was that the groom had actually provided quite a number of ‘wrong’ answers so that the bride got so many of them wrong even though she was right. She was cross but took it all in good humor – it was a lot of fun and that was the point of it all.

Well, outside of this fun part, if one is asked questions about their partner, especially a few days before getting married and one gets them wrong, then this can rattle some nerves and raise some eyebrows. It is said that how well you know your partner is a testament to how good your relationship. If you have a good relationship then it means that each partner feels free in the company of the other and they will share things about themselves and also be themselves in the presence of each other because they feel accepted – virtues, insecurities and all.

It is not uncommon to hear of relationships where partners do not seem to know each other or instances where you may hear something about your partner from someone else whereas you feel you should be in a position to have had knowledge of this. Of course, this depends a lot on the stage of the relationship or union that you are in. If you have only just began dating, then you will excuse yourself (and you will be excused) if you do not know about some habits or characteristics of your partner – after all, you are only getting to know each other. However, if you have been married for some years, then it is expected that you will know a lot including the snoring pattern of your spouse (yes, how many heaves and grunts). I have heard stories about people who wake up sometimes and look at partner and wonder, not why they are married to him/her but who this person next to them really is: bad breath, overnight drool at the side of the mouth and farting under the blankets. I guess these are a lot of things that couples have to put up with……

It does happen that sometimes people date for a period of time and it is only when they are making nuptial plans or when they move in together that they seem to discover a whole other side to their partner. Often times, this whole other side comes as a surprise because tendencies or habits or beliefs that you did not know about your partner are inevitably displayed. Few are pleasant surprises; many are usually off-putting and can lead to questions or doubts about compatibility and long term plans with the said partner. A friend of mine married a fine girl and when I went to visit their home the first time, I asked him how he was taking married life. He told me that married life requires a lot of patience because even the littlest of things that you discover about your partner when you start living together can drive you up the wall. Believe it or not, he was put off by the fact that she did not press the toothpaste tube from the base and would press it from the top and she was always left her toothbrush lying on the top of the sink instead of placing it in the holder. I looked at him amusedly and he knew I was giving him that ‘really?’ look and then told me that sometimes these small things can make a big difference. I concluded that he was the pedantic sort and she wasn’t – they say opposites attract, right? heheheh

I think that sometimes when we are in relationships, people tend to assume things about their partner. This is especially when you are getting along so well; there is a tendency for people to assume at times that their partner likes the same things or has the same habits as them and forget to give enough time to really getting to know each other. It is true that in some instances, you may never know your partner 100% but if you are married to and/or living with them, then a score of 90% should be the least one would expect should they be woken up at midnight with a pop-quiz ;).This includes knowing even silly things about them, because at the end of the day, these supposedly ‘small things’ can tear you apart; things like squeezing the toothpaste tube or not having a clear plan about where to place various items and of course the really irritating stuff such as brushing his teeth early in the morning whilst making sounds which make you wonder if he is at war with his throat.

At the least, Eve should know Adam’s shoe size ;).

How well do you know him/her?

By Joyce


4 thoughts on “How Well Do You Know Him/Her?

  1. Talk of habits that your other half can hide from you forever and secrets that only the grave can tell.Now the case of the toothbrush lady requires honesty by telling her the truth, why would i be pissed every time i see it happening and fail to tell it like it is.i bet he noticed even before tying the knot.But some things will never change

  2. As long as no one is perfect, then a spouse should be able to know that everyone has something that can drive them up the wall. With that knowledge, it’s all about accepting and coping with such habits. There are those things one can live with and which one has to overlook, in the bigger picture of marriage. Otherwise, go for an angel, not a human being.

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