Be Thankful

Lately, I have been reflecting a lot about being thankful. Thankfulness means ‘awareness or appreciative of a benefit’, it also means being grateful. I thought about the number of times I have found myself or that we all sometimes find ourselves in surrounded by pessimism or ‘mountains of life’ such that we forget to be thankful, grateful or appreciative of where we are, who we are or even where we are not. I mean, think about it: life with all its high and low moments – and it has the capacity to dish these out in haphazard fashion – is beautiful. There are so many things around us that remind us that there are many things that we ought to be grateful about. I think about trials, and tribulations and temptations (yes, these are many! :)),but when I think about all the positives: my friends, my family, my circumstances, I realize (even more now) that the negatives pale in ‘weight/ strength’ and I should make conscious effort to be thankful.

So right now, I will tell you that I am thankful, for I have just come out of a bad, bad winter in my location; I am so thankful that it is over and I survived! Actually, when I was coming here, I was mentally prepared (maybe over prepared) for the weather because everyone talked about it; I ended up buying so many winter clothes, way more than I needed. I got here and winter was harsh; in fact, this was my first time to see the ground, trees, cars in the parking lot, all covered with snow and the inside of a building so cold that your fingers freeze! And I am thankful that I did not fall sick, I took everything in stride and now, winter is gone, the flowers have blossomed, and the roses especially look great!

I think about relationships – of course!- how we are all excited when we get into one, and then when weather elements are unleashed on us, we tend to forget that this is life, it will shore on us in dramatic fashions and other times; it will pleasantly surprise us, and with all these moments of joy, punctuated by moments of gloom, we will live it. This now reminds me of how lastGratitude-always-something-to-be-grateful-for-300x212 week, Joyce moved us with Saccharine, so good, full of emotion, human feeling and hope, even @Mahegoat obliged! hahahha. This is the point where I exclaim, “Life is beautiful!” By the way, this is the same Joyce who wrote about ‘the Ode’, after going through a completely opposite experience – this same life showed her that there is a lot to be thankful about. I think at this point, she needs to tell us what she is thankful for! But I guess this ‘saccharine phase’ has proved that she can be SWEPT off her feet – both feet :), so we might need her to get back to earth, before we get an answer!

So today, I will try and reflect on some not so high moments in relationships, which normally happen (not to all of us of course!) and we should actually be thankful about. OK, now you are frowning wondering why you should be thankful that an Adam (who you should by now know is a loser) left you without an explanation, and never contacted you again, because now you know for sure, it was not meant to be; if he left you then, he would have left you in future anyway. The best predictor of future behavior is relevant past behavior. I did not say it, it is Dr. Phil who said that, and I believe him. Be thankful for that Eve who refused to pick up your call, because at least if nothing else, you did not invest your emotions and even finances (maybe you would have taken her to Shompole’s hehehe). Yes, you were hurt, but you moved on, and hopefully, now you are more focused, you have a pretty good idea about how a good Eve should treat you – hopefully you learnt something from that.

Be thankful for that shocking discovery that you made about your significant other, because it made you realize that you have different values and priorities. OK,now you are wondering what I am talking about. Well, it can be something as small as a conversation he/she had with a confidant and you somehow “stumbled” on some incriminating EVIDENCE that they were not what they claimed to be, you hurt like hell, but I imagine that that discovery helped you to make a decision based on facts and not on intuition, right?

Be thankful for that incident that happened when you were together, when you needed someone to be there for you, but you supposed significant other was not, and although it may have shocked you or maybe hurt you so deeply, you at least were able to decide that, maybe after all, the person does not represent “your rock” (isn’t that what your other half is supposed to be?). I know you think this one is far-fetched  but haven’t you heard of Eves who desert Adam as soon as he loses his job and hence can’t finance those getaways anymore?

Be thankful for that miscarriage, OK, for that master plan which aborted; you made a plan, you clearly seemed to articulate what you both wanted or needed from the relationship, he or she checked out of your life and although at first it was hard to fathom, it made you to appreciate the fact that you need consistent people around you. Be thankful for the mistakes. There are certain things in life where you know it is a mistake only after you have made it. I think we can be thankful, if we make that mistake, accept that it was a mistake, learn from it and in future, recognize it and not repeat it by learning from experience. So we can be thankful for those as well!

Finally, I conclude by quoting someone unknown: “life is like a camera, just focus on what’s important and capture the good times, develop from the negatives and if things do not work out, take another shot.”

What are you thankful about?

Have a good week!

By Fridah.

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Saccharine

I had always dreamt of having an encounter like this. In almost every woman’s head (men I am told have two heads so I can only speak to one-headedness ;)), there is a dream, reverie or fantasy of an encounter that she would like to have – with a man. Of course in that reverie, there is always the idea of how the man she will have the encounter with will be like: how he looks, how he carries himself, how he speaks and especially how he speaks to her, how he treats her, when they are alone and in the company of others, what he knows, what his interests are,  his sense of humor, what attributes of his character will draw her to him and so on…..you get the drift – basically Eve has this down to the molecular formula because the levels of chemistry that are expected to rise and be sustained are no algebraic child’s play.

So when I met him, nothing could have prepared me for the encounter. For when I met him, this reverie of mine had been stacked away in the zones in my mind that would probably fall under the final laps of the alphabet which would have taken a very patient librarian to retrieve. Luckily, I didn’t need the librarian because my encounter with him slowly registered with the mental retrieval that was taking place in my head. It was like I knew him from somewhere but it was only because I had met this present as a feature of my future in my mental past.

In my mind, I dreamt that I would be deeply attracted by his intellect; I would be intrigued by our shared intellectual interests and by the diversity of those interests so that we could learn from each other and also agree to disagree when that needed to be the case. And when I encountered him I was not disappointed – I was particularly enchanted by the fact that we both had an appreciation for the poetic word that we could find expressed in various media; here was the man I could go with to a slam poetry night, a play, a concert or have conversations about books that led to exchange of thoughts on different subjects, to comparisons of opinions and symbiotic enlightenment. This was a Matrix connection for me.

lovespells.me

I loved the way he carried himself, with quiet dignity and confidence that gave off not even an iota of arrogance. In fact, his presence was almost unassuming – he didn’t speak to prove himself in the presence of others but was like a jewel revealed when we were in each other’s company. I loved the way he spoke to me, the way he looked at me when he spoke to me. The way to a woman’s heart is much about the way a man treats her – and oh boy! did I not wholeheartedly embrace the way he treated me – with care, respect and dignity. He left very little window to doubt how immensely he cared for me – in fact, I think this man had mastered the art of caring so much that he knew not to allow seeds of doubt to even sow the idea of germinating.

That he fitted the bill of my reverie leaves me to feel a lot of things – to feel a contentedness that is just whole; to feel the beautiful queasiness that comes with butterflies filling your stomach, the lightheadedness that comes with emotions welling from deep within you and you wonder if your blood has suddenly thinned or whether all your red and white blood cells are busy jumping hoops. Most of all, I love the feeling that he’s brought along and sustained – that there is such a thing as meeting someone with whom you have a mental and physical connection that blows your mind. That what can be seemingly appear to be elusive or a falsehood is actually possible – falling in love.

And I don’t want to let this feeling go.

By Joyce