My name is Django,”the ‘D’ is silent”. I am sure most of you have watched this movie. I did not watch it until last week, and I now know why people have been making fun when they say “he is now the president”, and then add, the ‘P’ is silent. I always laughed at that one and now I am sure all Kenyans reading this are exclaiming “kuwa nyuma nayo”- something else which makes me chuckle every time I hear it – but I actually do not say it because it sounds lame. Hehehe
Anyway, I watched “Django Unchained” – great movie, well acted and loaded with a lot of emotions; not only emotions about the slavery – the discrimination and exploitation of blacks – but also emotions of love and vivid images of endurance and commitment. I like Waltz (the dude who unchained Django), who won an award for his role, but I liked Django even more; what a fighter! ( yes Joyce, I like fighters). There was such firmness and steadfastness in him; driven by his belief in love and marriage and I guess obviously, the need to prove that a ‘nigger’ ain’t daft!; he walked across the United States in a bid to free his wife from a plantation owner. She is undoubtedly the beauty in the movie, but I do not think this is why he fought (although looks count, I guess, nay, I know so leave that “mwanamke ni tabia” cliché alone! hehehehe) but because he loved her.
As the movie wore on, I could not help but think about all stories I have heard about love and relationships, commitment or lack thereof and the inability of the parties to “fight”- mine included. Recently I saw a funny quote which said “we are so not breaking up”- and I was like ‘OK!, I think we are in the era where you do not just come and tell me we are breaking up!’ Back to Django, I wondered how a man can endure so much, put all that energy and thought to something that looks so insurmountable, and then compared it to most relationships where it seems as though we just give up – even when it is possible to “fight for it”. I thought about some dude I dated a while back. I wondered why he could not be like Django (I know it is a movie, so do not lecture me about it :)). By wondering why he could not be like Django, I am not saying that he should saddle a horse through a vast land (although that would would win him some small points) to look for me and declare undying love. OK, may be was not that into me, but hey!, a girl is allowed to wonder, no?
So this ex, I was committed to him, but I accept that yes, it was Skype, Yahoo! and G-talk kind of commitment – but heck I was! I mean, you do not endure chats over time zones if you ain’t got an ounce of commitment in you…or do you? I gave my all; I believe I did, because I believed in what I thought we shared. I also agree that communication was sometimes not easy and sometimes, it felt like “there had to be a different way”. We soldiered on but the inevitable happened: we broke up -mainly not because of distance but we were not seeing eye to eye about some issues. I think I have said it before, it helps –a lot – when two people who are in a relationship share the same vision and goals of being in that relationship, because if you want different things, that means you are starting off on a different footing, with varied expectations and that is already a red flag. Of course it depends on what the issues are – do not get me wrong but even Siamese twins are driven by different likes, wants and yearnings.
So some days after the break up, the dude came back with those tired lines of ‘I miss you’, ‘I am in love with you‘, bla bla. ……..For some reason, I was numb; maybe it was just my stubborn self, maybe I was just exhausted from all the Skype calls and trying to make it work. I think a part of me also lost faith in us, I knew that if I accepted the advances, it would be the same drill again – enduring Skype chats which I could manage but to what end? I was kind of convinced that we were not meant to be. But also a part of me wanted him to show me that I was important, that he treasured me, but all I got were words but no actions to back those words up. So the more he talked, the more I wanted to run away, far away. In my view, he was too laid back and I was not sure what to think of all that.
So as I watched this movie, I could not help but wonder if I should have “fought”, but I also wondered why most men are not like Django – fighters. Why don’t they go out of their way even if it does not seem ‘Adam like’. Now, you may be wondering what wanting and fighting for someone would look like: Django has a strategy, a horse, there were some light weapons and I think something like a AK47 involved ( I would not have minded if my ex had wielded those as well ( kidding!), but you have to define what fighting to you is and if it is worth it ( all things considered).
Talking of fighters,who watched the match between Andy Murray and Djokovic last night? That was superb tennis and Murray ended Britain’s 77 year drought! You have to give it to a man who wins a title in three consecutive straight sets – he sent Britain into “collective delirium”, said the BBC. That was sublime tennis, tantalizing! What a FIGHTER!
Have good week!